But most important, what would the directors say, the ones who held my fate in their hands along with the scripts they sent me? How much was my name in the opening credits worth to them? Would they ask that I lay my beliefs aside for this one scene, this one theme, this one line? Would they send scripts at all?

Surely I was overreacting. Surely I was allowing this to take on far more importance and authority than it really did.

But still …

“It’s not that extreme, is it?” I asked in a way that projected more confidence than I really felt.

Grace cocked one eyebrow. “Just how delusional are you?”

This was not comforting. I stood and began to pace with nervous energy. “No, really, I mean, think of all the people in Hollywood that are outspoken about their religious faith, and they’re still working. Richard Gere, John Travolta, Shirley MacLaine—”

“She’s working?”

“Okay, yeah, not her, but the others.”

“They get laughed at. Mocked. Sure, they get jobs, but they’re the butt of jokes as well. Plus, their beliefs don’t interfere with the roles they play. But God isn’t just an idea you pull out on the weekends and in your spare time; or at least, that’s not what He’s meant to be. He should be influencing every decision you make. If you force Him into a box and limit His influence, you’re reducing your relationship with Him to a fair-weather arrangement. No earthly friend would stand for that kind of relationship, and He won’t either. If you’re serious, you’re going to have to face the fact that you’re gonna get flak for it, and possibly lose your career as you know it.”

I sat down again, hard, rubbing my eyes. “That’s an awful lot to risk on someone I don’t know very well.”

Her lips curled slightly. “Which one of us are you talking about, Him or me?”

I shot her a rueful smirk. “I suppose it goes for both of you.”

She shrugged and unfurled herself to stand. “I’m far less concerned about our relationship than I am about yours and God’s. But remember, this isn’t a typical relationship. This isn’t the occasional dinner and a movie and a walk on the beach. This is God. And while He’d much rather you be devoted to Him, He can handle it if you’re not. But what He really hates is when you’re in the middle, lukewarm. Make your decision and go with it, but don’t oscillate.” She was tottering toward the kitchen as she said this, where she slowly opened the refrigerator and pulled out the juice. I watched her unsteadily pour and return the container, then shuffle back to the sofa.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you really do look like hell.”