I sat up, and stars danced before my eyes for a moment before my vision cleared and I felt safe to stand. I pulled on a sweatshirt and shuffled into the living room where Jack and Missy sat. Their conversation stopped as I appeared, and their faces told me how awful I looked. Jack looked different, although I couldn’t tell why. He smiled hugely. “Good evening,” he chuckled, a teasing lilt in his voice. “Have a nice sleep?”

I frowned and tried to figure out what time it was. “How late is it?” “Only eight,” Missy responded. “Are you hungry? Jack made dinner.”

What had smelled heavenly upon my return to consciousness now made my stomach churn in an unpleasant way. “Um … no.” I felt myself sway slightly on my feet.

“Drink something, anyway; I’ll get you juice.” She stood and walked to the kitchen, grinning like an idiot. Why were they so happy?

“Everyone’s been calling here for you,” I mumbled as I fell onto the sofa and curled into a corner. I still felt half-asleep. “Greg, your assistant … ” I yawned. “Where have you been?”

Jack smiled. “Been out thinking. Went to Sean’s cabin in Big Bear. Had it out with God and some ghosts from the past.” His smile nearly burst his face. “I did it, Grace.”

I stared at him while the meaning of “it” came into focus. Suddenly I knew why everyone was so happy. I didn’t even try to say anything; the lump in my throat sprang up before I could get anything out. I stared at him in shock. Missy stood back in the kitchen; I could see her wiping her eyes with her sweater sleeve.

All I could do was stare. The last six months I had slowly and painfully purged from my heart any kind of emotion toward him, forcing myself to pray that his soul would find God and that I would be freed from the longing to be with him. And now here he was, claiming to have found faith, and that corner of my heart that I knew would never really be free of him was swelling and taking over and assuming all now would be as I had once hoped it would.

A little squeak made its way through my constricted throat, and I let out a choked laugh, tears pooling and stinging my eyes. He laughed, and Missy laughed and finally made it back with the juice, and I forced myself to calm down and drink so I would have more time to think of what to really say, because “Take me now!” just didn’t seem appropriate, no matter how heartfelt it would be.

“Wow.” I shook my head and laughed again. Jack smiled selfconsciously, one of the few times I could recall seeing him anything less than entirely self-confident. “This is amazing. I can’t believe—How? When? Why?”