School ended, and I was relieved for the break. I started meeting with the girls again every week; during my short fling with Jack I had stopped attending our Bible study. One night I spilled everything to Missy, not because I wanted someone to know, but because I knew keeping it secret would only make it easier to do again. It was a relief to get it off my chest, but at the same time it brought back the memory of him more strongly than anything else had, and the ache that had finally started to subside came back with a vengeance.

I filled the first half of the summer with a community art class and volunteering at church. The second half I took a course toward my master’s degree, and it struck me one day as I studied in the library that Jack was probably in Ireland at that very moment. My heart ached at the thought of his invitation to join him there.

The beginning of school crept up on me, and I threw myself into teaching to try to occupy my mind. I started singing with the band at church again and working with their drama group as well. First quarter sped by, and when I thought back to the beginning of the year, it seemed as though everything with Jack was a dream. Had I really gone to that premiere with him? Had I really kissed him? Had he really said he was serious about me? Was that all that had happened, and if so, why did it take so little to tie me in such a knot? Surely it was all just an elaborate daydream. Nothing like that ever happened to people like me.

Things started well, but the second quarter steamrolled me. Struggling students and nervous parents drained every ounce of my energy, and the momentum from the beginning of the year was squandered in parent conferences and meetings with administration. I plodded along, hardly aware of what day it was, not to mention the month, and then suddenly Christmas break was nearly upon us.

The last week of school before break completely knocked me out. I hadn’t realized how hard I’d been pushing myself until I almost didn’t make it to the last day, having been bowled over by a nasty flu.