“What?” The volume made me yank the phone from my ear.

“Ow, you’re loud. Knock it off.”

“Sorry, sorry … Oh, Grace, what happened? What did you do?”

I sighed. “Drove home.”

“Huh?”

“I broke off the kiss and got in my car and drove home.”

“But what did you tell him?”

“Nothing.”

“At all?”

“Nope.”

“What did he say?”

“That he guessed he shouldn’t have done it, and that he was sorry.”

“And you didn’t say anything?”

“Like what, Missy? ‘Take me now?’ Because that’s what I wanted to say. I nearly did say it.” My voice was shaking with the effort it took not to cry; I’d been doing that most of the night. “That’s why I didn’t say anything; I knew if I tried to talk I’d say something I shouldn’t. I can’t tell you how badly I don’t want to be a Christian right now, Missy. I don’t want any reasons to not call him and throw myself at him. Yesterday was so perfect, except for the kiss—actually, that was perfect—and except for the really uncomfortable discussion about God—”

“You talked to him about God?”

“He asked if I remembered our first conversation.”

“Ah.”

“I felt like an idiot.”

“But you did the right thing.”

It was exactly what I didn’t want to hear. “Who cares?!” I exploded. “He doesn’t want God, he doesn’t think he needs God, he doesn’t believe in God; the whole thing was pointless! It didn’t matter! He doesn’t care! God put me in this ridiculous situation, and now I’ve made a fool of myself in front of Mr. Right who, just my luck, I can’t be with because he’s not a Christian!”

Missy was quiet, and I felt rotten. It should have been easier to deal with by this time, but it wasn’t. “Sorry,” I muttered. “I don’t want to talk anymore. I’ll call you later.” I hung up the phone and dropped it to the floor, then yanked the covers over my head and hid for another hour until I could no longer put off the papers that needed grading and the dinner I really needed to eat. There were two messages on my machine that must have been left while I was sleeping. I hit the Play button as I rummaged through the freezer for something I could microwave.