My arms have gone stiff under the cria’s head. I shift them a little as I wonder what Tally is getting at. Why she’s brought this up. “It’s not that simple.”

“Maybe not. But I do think that the bigger and more impossible something is, the more it needs to move through us so we can keep living.”

I look down at the cria, sated now, his eyes closed, and the syringe empty but for a small bit of froth. “Why did you bring me here today?”

“I thought you might need to hold something, that’s all.”

My eyes sting, film over. All I can do is nod and hand back the syringe.

(fifty-nine)

That evening, Will and I sit in front of the fire at my cabin, a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and Shannan’s pictures between us. We haven’t been alone like this since that night in his apartment, and though the moment feels years away now, and not at all threatening to me, I can’t help but wonder where he’s at with it, since neither one of us has said a word. Maybe he considers the kiss a moment of weakness or bad judgment, or maybe he’s still attracted to me but trying to shut off the feelings—as practiced as I am at ignoring difficult emotions and hoping they’ll go away.

“What are we missing?” I ask him about the photos.

“Hell if I know. Whatever happened to her in that car, there’s no hint of it here. I don’t see a suspect in any of these.”

“Me neither.” Exhausted, I reach for the sleek photo of Cameron, straining to sense how she’s connected to Shannan. Besides her beautiful face, her center-parted dark hair, there’s nothing to grasp at. Nowhere to look next. “What happened with Drew Hague’s polygraph?”

“His results were all over the place. I think he’s starting to crack a little.”

“Did you ask him about Shannan?”

“We did. Nothing there, seems like. But Cameron is a hot point. Denny was in the room, too, and he agrees.”

“Is Drew’s alibi still holding?”

“Unfortunately, yes. Whatever guilt we’re looking at is more likely from the past, but how far back?”

“Most sex offenders have years or even decades of unreported behavior before they’re identified by authorities. If they’re identified, that is. I just don’t know how we can get a full disclosure from him unless we have Cameron as a witness or someone else comes forward.”

“Lydia?”

“I wouldn’t hold out any hope that she’d betray him, if she even knows. We just have to keep moving forward with what we have.”

“We’re getting a few more bodies tomorrow and a herd of ATVs to do another sweep of the area around Montgomery Woods.”

“That will help, but here we are in the middle of October, Will.”