I grabbed the edge of the basin and clenched my jaw as she tenderly worked the washcloth across my latest lashes. I’d done my best to avoid any reckonings before the visit, but Ray didn’t like the haughty eyes I’d given him three days ago. I’d begged him to just let it go that one time, but he’d refused. Thankfully I was going to be covered, because there was no way Scott would understand this part of the practice.

“It’s going to be okay,” Margo said, like she could sense I was about to spin off.

I sank back into the tub of water. She was right. I needed to relax and enjoy this moment. Who knew when I’d get warm water again, and besides, none of my worrying would change anything. I sank into the bubbles, inhaling the smell of soap. It didn’t matter that it was cheap. My senses missed stimulation so much it hurt.

She let me lie in the tub until the water ran cold and then quickly scrubbed all my private parts while my cheeks burned with shame. I appreciated how fast she finished. I stepped out into the towels she held out in front of me. My skin filled with goose bumps immediately. She stopped me when I reached for my gown.

“Wait here,” she said before turning and hurrying out of the room. She came back within seconds and held up a beautiful red sundress. “Put this on,” she said as she handed it to me.

My eyes grew big. “Are you serious? I can’t wear that. What about the modesty guidelines?”

“Ray approved it.”

“He did?”

She nodded. I couldn’t believe it. The dress even had straps instead of sleeves. Why would he ever let me wear something so revealing?

“Well, are you just going to stand there and stare at it, or are you going to put it on?” Margo asked.

I took it from her and raised my arms, sliding it over my head and smoothing it over my body. What would he think about all the weight I’d lost? Hopefully he wouldn’t think I was too skinny. He hated when I lost my curvy hips. I slipped my underwear on underneath. I was more nervous than I’d been before I walked down the aisle on our wedding day.

“You look beautiful,” Margo said.

I blushed. “Thanks. Do you think he’s here yet?”

“He should be. I heard the door a few minutes ago.”

“Oh my God.” I stepped backward, reaching for something to steady me against the wave of emotions surging through my body.