The lot was empty except for a lone van in the far corner. It wasn’t like the other beat-up white vans they drove on their volunteer outings, with rust eating away at the tire rims. This one was solid black and windowless, like a creepy child-molester van.

“Nice wheels,” I joked to Ray.

Normally he would have laughed, but he ignored me as he fumbled with the latches on the back door. He gave them a sharp tug, and they came flying open. He pointed to the inside. “Hop in,” he said to me.

I laughed and moved toward the front of the van. He grabbed my arm from behind.

“No, really. Hop in,” he said.

“Oh, I didn’t think you were serious,” I stuttered, instantly embarrassed. “Where—” I stopped myself. Blind faith. That was what I was operating on now.

I climbed into the back and turned to help Margo get in, but she was gone. I could tell by Ray’s expression that he wasn’t joining me either. He gave me a strange smile as he shut the door, and I did my best to look brave. The latch clicked behind him, and panic washed over me. I forced myself to breathe and give my eyes a second to adjust to the light. It didn’t take long, and as they did I saw that the van’s seats had all been stripped out. Sleeping bags and pillows lined the cab’s floor. The front doors slammed shut, and within seconds the ignition brought the van to life. I quickly plopped down, trying to arrange the pillows around me in a way that was comfortable and find something to hold on to. The van lurched forward, going slowly at first but quickly picking up speed, which meant we had to have jumped on the interstate.

Had anyone called Scott yet? I had no idea what his schedule was like today because we hadn’t talked about it before he left for work this morning. All we’d done was get in that stupid fight. He was already mad at me and was only going to be more upset when he found out what I’d done. Hopefully he would answer their call, but he had a horrible habit of ignoring numbers he didn’t recognize. What if he didn’t listen to his voice mail until later this afternoon? I needed him to pick up Abbi from preschool. There was no way I was going to be done with this on time. How was any of this going to work? The magnitude of what I’d done engulfed me.

I needed to get a grip. They’d done this before. We weren’t the only family with a complicated situation. I didn’t need to figure everything out. Ray was always telling me that I had to release my control and allow life to naturally unfold in front of me. I forced myself to lie back on the blankets and focus on my breathing. I couldn’t do any of this if I wasn’t centered.