I gulped. This was all so intense. Part of me wanted to run back to my room just so I could gather myself and breathe, but the other part was glued to my spot, unable to move. This was really happening. I was in a room with my mom, and she was telling me stories about when I was young. I swallowed back the tears, afraid if I cried that she’d stop talking or start sobbing herself.

“You were the best baby. Content all the time. Barely ever cried, and even when you did your cries were these little whimpers that only made me feel even sorrier for you.” She looked at Shiloh as she talked, but was she remembering my face as she spoke? Had I brought that same look of pure love and contentment back then? I burst into tears. She threw her other arm around me. “Oh, oh, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she stammered nervously.

I shook my head, too emotional to speak. She pulled me even closer, and I settled in next to her, leaning my head on her shoulder as she nursed Shiloh. I’d been here before. This spot was familiar. I could stay here forever.

KATE

THEN

“Hold me,” I sobbed, throwing myself at Ray when he came downstairs, desperate for his touch, craving human contact. The starvation from human touch was worse than the hunger. He put his arms out and stiff-armed me back. “Please, Ray, no, please not this time.”

Last visit he’d been so kind. He’d given me a sponge bath, and it was glorious. But it had been a long time since then. Much longer than he’d ever left me. I’d had all sorts of panicked thoughts, like something terrible had happened to him, and he’d never told anyone I was down here, so I would die in suffocating isolation. I almost drove myself crazy with worry.

“Do you know what happened the last time the devil visited Jesus?” he asked.

I knew the story by heart. I’d begged Ray to bring me something to read, because the only thing worse than the panic attacks was the mind-numbing boredom of being in a closed space with no interaction. He’d given me a Bible, and the temptation of Jesus was the first thing I had found. The story had been there in black and white, just like he’d said it would be. “He takes Jesus to the top of a mountain and shows him all the land below. He promises to give him all the souls in the world if he bows down and worships him. Jesus refuses, and that’s when the devil finally leaves.”

Ray grinned. I loved when he was pleased with me.

“Is this it? Am I close?” I asked.

He nodded. Excitement surged through me.