“Nobody is ever going to forget.” Especially not me, I wanted to add, but bit my tongue. The sound of the gun going off hadn’t stopped ricocheting through me, making me cringe each time, the intensity never lessening. “And they shouldn’t.” I spat out the last part, unable to help myself.

“Good,” he said. “I don’t want anyone to forget. I want everything that happened here to be seared into our memories in a way that no amount of time can erase. We have utterly failed each other, God, and ourselves. I knew things were going to be difficult when God called us to separate ourselves, but I never imagined they would be this tragic.” His voice thickened with emotion. “This is a test, and it’s the hardest one we’ve had to endure on our journey. There will be many more until we reach the kingdom, but all of this fits perfectly with prophecy. The death in childbirth. The obstinate rebellion. The confusion. The warring among us. It’s all part of it. This is getting us prepared. You have to trust me.”

I turned away, gazing out the window at the rolling hills and wishing I could jump out. I would never trust him again. Willow’s and Bekah’s deaths might have been accidents, but he’d shot Sam in cold blood. I flinched as he put his hand on my knee.

“Do you trust me, Kate?”

I brushed his hand off. “That’s not what we’re talking about. It’s not about trust. It’s about what you did. How you—”

He interrupted me. “Just answer the question—do you trust me?”

“I don’t want to answer your question.”

“You trust me. I know you do, as much as you don’t want to trust me.” He put his hand back on my knee, pointedly. “You’re special. I’ve always told you that. Since the first week you spent in the cellar, when I was so disappointed because I thought you were leaving. Remember that? We’re alike in so many ways. I feel a connection with you that I don’t feel with the others, and it’s because our relationship is built on trust. You passed the highest loyalty test—you left your family.”

We rarely talked about those days. They were a different lifetime ago.

“That was because I believed in everything you were doing.”

“But don’t you see, Kate? None of that has changed. Nothing is any different today than it was three days ago.”

“How can you even say that? Two people are dead!”

“Bekah died from complications during childbirth. There was nothing that could have been done about that, and you know it.”

“And Sam?”