Now, out of nowhere I was blind-sided by pity for Karen. Giving birth alone, bringing home her baby alone. His father visiting but married to her friend. His eyes skipping over her like they’d never slept together. Like Jake couldn’t be his, not even possible.

He must have known it was possible.

‘We have to get Callum,’ I insisted, as Jodi bellowed again. ‘He has to be here. Where is he, for God’s sake?’ Was I really going to end up being Jodi’s birth partner? ‘Can you not reach him, is that it? He must be somewhere, I can call . . .’

She was shaking her head again, her knuckles white. ‘He went off. Says – baby’s not his.’

‘What?’ Jodi would never cheat. She just wasn’t the type – far too much of a deviation from acceptable, Instagram-worthy behaviour.

‘Donor . . .’ she panted out, and it all made sense. Callum’s comments on the night it all happened, about turkey basters and sperm machines. The sudden pregnancy after years of trying. They’d used a sperm donor.

‘He’s got a problem?’ I shouldn’t have asked, it was rude, but I felt so far past manners now. In a whole other country.

‘Nothing . . . comes out. Nothing in it.’ I was getting the picture but she felt the need to say more. Like she really wanted me to understand. ‘Started . . . in his twenties. He can do it but there’s nothing to come out.’

I thought about that for a minute, and then put it aside. Too much to unpack in there, Callum’s hurt feelings, Jodi’s happiness.

Jodi let out another cry, and I forced myself to focus. If I’d learned anything from these last weeks, it was that it wasn’t possible to save everyone. You just had to pick someone, and save them, and let the rest drown. In the middle of it all, everyone I loved most going under, I had chosen Mike. I just had to hope that, with everything I’d sacrificed, it had been worth it. I just had to hope I had saved my husband after all. There was no room now for doubts and fears.

I made my voice firm and confident. ‘I’ll find him, Jodi. Where do you think he could be?’

She panted, ‘Maybe . . . at home now. Don’t know.’

‘Then I’ll go there. It isn’t far. Will you be alright for an hour? I’ll make sure they take care of you.’

‘I already – called – Karen,’ she panted. ‘Sorry. I just – was panicking.’

So Karen might be on her way, and I would have to face her again. ‘Never mind,’ I soothed. ‘We’ll sort that out later.’

Jodi looked up at me, and I could see the relief on her face. All this time I’d been waiting for someone to take charge, and it seemed now that someone was me.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Five