I knew Karen’s mobile number by heart. After all, she had been my best friend. Was my best friend. I didn’t know the right words to say it. All I knew was that she felt like a part of me. I knew she felt like my sister, if I’d had a sister. Closer than blood. All I knew was I had always turned to her when I didn’t know what to do, and this was no exception.

In the lobby of the hospital, I dialled her number. It felt like a good place to wait while your life moved into positions you’d never imagined, the continental drift of your future. It was full of other people doing the same, waiting with twisted plastic cups between their hands, standing up and pacing, thumbing at mobile phones, staring blankly at the rolling news screens. The bright lights against the dark. I rested my head against the cool metal of the phone as it rang. I wondered if I’d ever feel happy again. Peaceful, and well, and hopeful. I wondered if I’d ever like myself again.

I thought she might not answer. I’d called from a payphone so she wouldn’t recognise my mobile number. I was sure she wouldn’t want to talk to me. But she answered, her voice low and wary. ‘Hello?’ Her voice that I’d once heard every day, first thing in the morning and last thing at night. We’d called each other ‘wifey’ back then, a little joke, but really it wasn’t a joke and she’d been closer than that to me. Closer than anyone had ever been. I could hear a train announcement in the background; she must be on her way.

‘Kar?’ She’d know my voice. No need to say who I was. She said nothing, but I could hear her breathing on the line. ‘It’s me. I’m so . . . I’m so sorry to call. But something’s happened. Callum’s – well. He’s gone AWOL. And – I’ve found out some things.’ I didn’t know how to explain it. Jodi’s baby wasn’t Callum’s, and he was having some kind of breakdown over it. I had already tried his phone, and the house phone, but there was no answer. He wasn’t picking up. Karen said nothing, but I could hear she was listening, so I went on, trying to explain as delicately as I could the startling thing Jodi had just told me. ‘I think – I don’t know what I think. It’s sent him off the rails or something. Will you come straight here and be with Jodi? I’m going to run to theirs and see if Callum’s there – I’ll meet you back here.’