I said, “You know it is. You can’t lie to yourself.”

Andrea broke down and asked me, “Okay, what are you trying to do here? Are you trying to get me involved in something? Is that it? Because that’s not gonna happen.”

I took Rachel’s advice and went for broke with the truth.

I said, “Yeah, I’m willing to experience something new with you.”

“And what makes you think I want any part of that?” she asked me.

Because you’re still on the phone with me, I told myself. But instead of saying that, I answered, “You still hold on to me. You never wanted to marry that Jayson guy. He was just a way of trying to punish me, and you ended up punishing yourself with him.”

I didn’t want to go into detail about Corey telling me about a miscarriage. That may have been too painful for her.

She took a breath, and I jumped on her while reading the opportunity to do so.

“Did your friend ever like men?”

I had to do at least a little research on Brazil.

Andrea took too long to answer.

I said, “She did, didn’t she? She probably still has curiosities about us.”

I was pulling out every thought I had about it.

Andrea said, “I don’t believe you. I don’t believe you’re sitting here…” She stopped and told me, “You haven’t changed a bit. You’re still trying to get what you want.”

I didn’t know how long I could go back and forth with her. I just wanted to put the idea in her head, the rest would be up to her and her friend.

Quit while you’re ahead, I told myself.

I said, “Okay. But I want you to know that I have changed a little. I’m thinking about what you told me, to give a woman more of what she wants, no matter what it is.”

“Well, you need to do that with a woman who cares.”

I said, “You still care, you know you do. But I’ll let you go. You know my number now.”

“I won’t be calling you,” she stated.

“As long as you know what it is, I’m satisfied with that.”

WHEN I HUNG UP with Andrea I felt optimistic for some reason. I guess I felt that way because I was able to state my case to her. It was crazy, but I had done it, and there was no going back.

I grinned and asked myself, “What the hell am I doing?” I felt like a mischievous kid. It was as if I had just started having sex and was trying to go after every girl in the neighborhood. Rachel had really turned me on to the possibilities. I was ready to try anything with anyone.

In the Closet

IWASN’T EXPECTING DANNI to call me back after our last argument, but she did. She called me on my house phone right as I was leaving for the airport to catch my day-early flight to Chicago. I was packing the last few items in my suitcase.