Gretchen was walking toward her in the living room of their first apartment. The carpet was tattered, and they had no food in their refrigerator, but the place was theirs, and Gretchen wanted to celebrate.

Meredith took her hands and placed them on her breasts. Arousal lit Jax’s body on fire, but her heart and mind were betraying her. She stood and grabbed Meredith by the waist. She spun them and pushed Meredith up against the edge of the small dining table. Jax needed to concentrate and be in the present with Meredith. Not in her past. She kissed Meredith roughly, pouring every ounce of desperation and need she felt into it. She flinched as Meredith ran her icy fingertips along the heated skin beneath the hem of her T-shirt. Her belly quivered. She pulled Meredith’s legs around her waist and smiled at how tightly they held her. Meredith wove her fingers through Jax’s hair, but all Jax could think of was needing a haircut. Gretchen always made sure she never missed an appointment.

Jax pulled back from the embrace and looked into Meredith’s concerned eyes. “I…” She licked her lips. Why her mind couldn’t cooperate was beyond her. She had this gorgeous, caring, interesting woman in front of her, and she couldn’t focus. Or maybe she was focusing on what her heart cared about most.

“Fine,” Meredith said, amusement shining through her small smile. “You can have your gift first.”

“Gift?” She watched Meredith walk to the other room and felt more panic than anything. “I didn’t get you anything.”

Meredith returned wearing a silk robe. “You don’t have to get me anything, silly.” She handed Jax a small, rectangular box.

The plain white packaging was wrapped simply with a red ribbon. “You really shouldn’t have.”

“It’s nothing much. I just noticed how you’ve been struggling lately and wanted to help.” Meredith had wrapped her arms around herself.

She pulled the ribbon loose, nerves causing her to go slow. She opened the box and a flash of confusion came and went. Inside were three pencils and two pens.

“I asked the guy at the art supply store which were the best, and he pointed these out. I hope he wasn’t lying.” Meredith laughed nervously.

Jax turned over the pencils, feeling the quality of the wood.

“He wasn’t,” she said quietly.

“You used to spend so much time in your studio, and now all of your supplies are still packed up. I figured maybe you needed a little bit of a fresh start.” Meredith’s sentiment chipped away at her heart.

Realization hit her like a ton of bricks. She closed her eyes when they started to burn with tears. “That’s really sweet. Thank you.”