Amanda touched Gretchen’s shoulder, but Gretchen never looked away from the ceiling. “Are you sure? I can come back later.”

“No. I want to be alone. I don’t want dinner, just something to take for sleep.”

Jax felt a war waging in her chest. She was still so full of doubt, but her heart continued to break for Gretchen. She couldn’t imagine feeling so helpless. Instead of saying another word and potentially making a bad situation worse, Jax started to leave.

Amanda and Dr. Melendez were right behind her when she walked out into the hallway. “I need documentation for my employer,” she said, feeling small to make such a request at a time like this. “You can fax it over.”

“Of course.” Dr. Melendez wrote the fax number as Jax relayed it.

“How can you care about that right now?”

Jax looked at Amanda like she was nuts. “My job? How can I care about my job? I care because I need it.”

“Gretchen needs you.”

“And I’ve been here.”

“I’ll fax over the information tonight.” Dr. Melendez left awkwardly.

“You’re about to split. You know it, I know, and you basically just told Gretchen.”

Jax pulled on her jacket and took a deep breath. “Look, I just don’t think it’s a smart idea for me to be with her every day.”

“Why? Because you might realize you still love her?”

“What if that’s exactly it? I’m not wrong for wanting to protect myself. You have no idea how hard it was the first time, and I know I won’t be able to handle a second.”

“I get it, but it still makes you selfish.”

“Then I’m selfish.” Jax turned on her heel and walked away, not wanting to explain herself any further. She left the hospital with her head held high even though all she wanted was to curl up in a ball and cry.

Chapter Twenty-six

21 days, 12 hours, 11 minutes

“No!” Caleb screamed as he threw the third piece of waffle to the floor.

Jax took a deep, calming breath. “Come on, Cricket. They’re your favorite, cinnamon sugar.” Each day had gotten harder with Caleb, who only wanted his life to go back to normal. A sentiment Jax fully understood. “Just a few more bites, and then we gotta go.”

“I wanna go with Mama.”

She wanted to make it through one morning without Caleb demanding to see Gretchen. She had already made up every excuse for not bringing him to the hospital, and now she just felt like a villain. “You’ll see her soon. I promise.”

“You always say that.”