“If you need to back away from this, you can,” she said. “Tell me and I’ll help. Others will help to keep an eye on things, if at more of a distance. I involved you initially and I was glad when you seemed to be interested and invested in a way that played to your strengths and that you enjoyed. I was, again, relieved to have more eyes on things. I do not, however, want you to suffer for it.”

I looked out over the water, which was so very dark and expansive. The city didn’t keep many lights on at night, with the power situation being what it was. Less lights to reflect down on the water after dark, less light reaching the clouds up above, to make the sky lighter.

Ink black darkness.

“How have you been?” she asked.

I shrugged.

“Back at the Asylum, after you had worked on your motor control, I had you keep a journal, with the attendant’s help.”

Dark, heavy feelings, to match what I saw over the water.

“Each day in the calendar started with a drawn out cross, with a number written in each of the four quadrants. We tracked how you were doing in various areas.”

“I didn’t make much progress.”

“You moved on to the independent care facility.”

More dark, heavy feelings.

“How would you fill it out now? Physically, emotionally, contextually, and in the immediate picture with your personal needs.”

“I have no earthly idea,” I said.

“It might be worth paying attention to,” she said. “Have you called the number I gave you? The therapist?”

I shook my head.

“If you sat down with a friend or a loved one and they told you they felt as you have these past few days, their worries, wants, needs, and problems, would you want them to talk to someone qualified?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I guess I would.”

She took a bite of her sandwich, diplomatically avoiding saying something.

“Yeah,” I said. “I hear you.”

⊙

I stopped in at the group’s headquarters, landing on the fire escape, and unlocking the door with my key.

Lights started to turn on, computer monitors appearing, Kenzie’s cube glowing at the corners, as her projected image appeared in the computer chair, fritzing.

“It’s fine. Go back to sleep, Kenzie,” I said, to the room. “I woke up early and decided to go flying. I’m using the shower.”

There was a pause, and then the various projections, images, screens, and lights went dark, in the reverse order they had turned on.

I wondered if I’d actually woken her up, and if she’d actually heard me.