“Every time you think of me or mention me, I will be there. I will know where you are and see what you are doing. I will take stock and I will make my judgments. You will think of me, while saying your prayers on waking and on retiring, kneeling by your bed. Before each meal.”

He nodded, stiff.

“It’s been years,” she said. “You only think about me a few times a day. I thought it was time we were reacquainted. You have your mission.”

“I’ll kill my cluster.”

“And be a loyal soldier. Think of me,” she said. “If you don’t, you know what will happen.”

“Yes mama,” he said.

“Allie. Your aunt and uncle. Erin, her family. And you won’t see me. You’ll see other things.”

“Yes mama,” he said.

“Give me a kiss, now.”

She didn’t bend down, so he had to raise himself up to give her a peck on the cheek. He hated the contact, he hated how large she loomed in his vision, how that would give her more of a foothold.

He hated everything.

“Go, now, it’s late.”

He escaped the room, doorknob squeaking. In the process, he nearly collided with Elijah. It was only his own doing that stopped him.

Elijah held a bowl of water with a sponge floating in it in the crook of one arm. He had a slight smile on his face, barely visible through the long white-dyed hair he had. It was long enough to drape around his collarbone.

Behind that hair, his eyes were a milky cataract white. Not just for show. Seeing his cane was the only reason Rain hadn’t walked into him and spilled the water.

“Elijah. Escort Rain to the door, please. He seems unsteady on his feet.”

“Yes, mama,” Elijah said. He fumbled, and found a place to set the bowl down on a dresser.

Rain didn’t want the escort, but he didn’t want to refuse. Mama Mathers—

Rain flinched as she appeared, standing further down the hallway.

The figure made a small sound of amusement.

Elijah fumbled for his arm, then seized it tight.

The blind leading the sighted. Rain went, reaching out for the railing as soon as it was in reach, so he could have something to hold onto, and so he could keep Elijah from falling if it came down to it.

“Only the guilty are as upset as you seem to be,” Elijah said, his voice smooth, silky, and dangerous.

Rain didn’t reply, focusing instead on the stairs, trying not to think—

Mama Mathers appeared at the bottom of the flight.

He’d gotten so good at controlling his thinking, and it was all for nothing, now. Even thinking about not thinking about her was now enough. It might be for weeks or months.

“It’s hard, I know,” Elijah said. “I had a hard time with it for the first few years.”