But he saw some. Her presence jumped into his head. He looked away, but it didn’t help.

Mama Mathers. Taller than him, gaunt, wispy of hair. She wasn’t old, but she had the presence of an old woman, thin enough that it seemed like she would break or crumple into a heap if struck. She stood right next to him, leaning over him. She touched his face, and he flinched.

“You’ve been pulling away,” she said. Her voice was just as ethereal as the rest of her. “There is no away, Rain. You should know that.”

He remained still, trying not to look.

“We give the young ones so many allowances, and we’ve given you more than most. We thought you would find yourself. Have you?”

“Working on it,” he said, his voice quiet.

“How long has it been since we last talked?”

“Years, mama,” he said.

Her fingers traced his shoulder-length hair. “I told you to grow your hair long, back then.”

“Yes, mama,” he said.

“Do you remember why? Any boy of mine that does anything to catch my eye, good or bad, I have them do it.”

Rain nodded. No words would have come out if he’d said anything, so he didn’t try.

“The girls know it, but the boys sometimes need to learn it. I’m content to let either be my soldiers, but that requires zeal. Not everyone has it. Not everyone cleaves to their role and position. Everyone has responsibilities, and it takes a soldier to obey.”

Rain nodded again.

Her voice took on a different tone. No less ethereal, but haunting-ethereal, now. “The hair is to remind you that if you won’t be a soldier for the families, we’ll have you be a slut. We’ll get children out of you. If you fail at that, if they’re sickly or disobedient, we’ll geld you like we would any of the farm animals.”

Rain’s nod was stiff.

“You’re so distant. Have your aunt and uncle failed us? I’d thought your uncle was so dutiful.”

“They’ve done everything right,” Rain said, eyes on the corner of the rug on the floor.

“Your uncle beat you. You’re weak but you’re one of our blessed,” she said, speaking in his ear. “We could have him crippled or killed.”

“I asked him to, mama.”

“Even so,” she said.

“He is—he’s everything you want in a soldier,” Rain said, and his words were halting as he tried to defend a man he didn’t even love or like. “Hurting him to make a point or impart something onto me would hurt the Fallen more than it helped anything.”

“Allie then,” she said. Her voice was a whisper now. “Has she said things to you, to make you pull away?”