“After the first incident with my foster dads, I had other stuff around school and my dads. People would say I had a tough start, growing pains, you know? But I lost my foster dads. I went to the Wards and I talked to professionals, and they said I was doing better, I was improving, they liked how things were going, and… I lost the team. I got sent away to training camps, and they said a change of scene was doing me good, I was better, I was improving. And I got people in trouble there.”

I shook my head. Snow fell from my hood. “It’s a pattern, but that doesn’t mean you’re not making headway.”

“I’m going to be your age someday, if I live that long, and a friend is going to be patting me on the back, telling me I’m doing better, keep looking forward. But I’ve had it explained to me and I still can’t stop it. How do you stop yourself from doing something if you can’t see yourself doing it in the first place?”

I had a moment’s thought about whether she was calling me old or being way too fatalistic, then pushed it out of mind. It wasn’t the issue she was trying or wanting to deal with.

“Things change, Kenzie. Nothing stays the same forever.”

“Ashley was supposed to stay by my side forever. She said she’d be by my side forever so long as I was her minion, and then she stopped saying the minion part and kept saying the forever part,” Kenzie said. “I’m so mad at her I could cry.”

I couldn’t see her face, as she had her head turned down to face the ground, watching her steps as we trudged through snow.

“If it was just the Chicken Tenders, I’d be able to deal. If it was just Ashley, I think I could deal eventually. But this is the first time since I first ruined everything that I feel like it’s all gotten so much worse.”

We’d reached the end of the city.

No more sidewalk, no more road. Just wilderness. A tear in reality taller than any building off to the east, making the weather so much worse, snow everywhere, and ice on everything.

“I wish I knew what to say or do, Kenz,” I told her. “A hug? A reminder that there’s always a sleepover and hot chocolate waiting?”

“You make really good hot chocolate,” she said. “You make a lot of really good stuff in general.”

“After Gold Morning, I drifted a bit. I focused on the Patrol, school, trying to get into university. But food, eating healthy, and having meals to look forward to were a thing for me. Figuring out how to be an adult.”