On that platform, beside Goddess, I spotted Amy, and I immediately looked away. On the train with Tristan and Ashley, weeks ago, I’d seen Presley out of the corner of my eye and it had reminded me of Amy. That had been enough to fuck with my mood and my head. Now she was here for real, not for the first time tonight.

In the corner of my eye.

Keeping her in the back of my mind weighed on me. Keeping her out of mind meant I was unpleasantly surprised when she came up. I could rationalize and reassure myself, and those reassurances about her character and the girl I’d grown up with fell to pieces when I thought about how she had repeatedly breached my boundaries. When she’d used her power on me in the first place—if only that, I could have maybe forgiven. When she’d used it on me a second time, following my explicit no, because I’d been scared and I’d been dissolving alive? When she had repeatedly, constantly showed up despite my express wishes?

There was a kind of fear where the heart raced. There was anticipatory fear where the heart pounded, a singular body-jarring thud at what felt like a slower rate, though it wasn’t.

My chest felt as though everything had seized up, and I couldn’t feel my own heartbeat in my own chest.

Enemies. Thinking about enemies was easier than thinking about… whatever Amy was.

Lung stood at the furthest end of the makeshift stage from Goddess, tattooed arms folded. Someone had picked up his mask for him, and he now wore it. The metal had dark mud still caked in some of the creases, and from the angle of his head, he was watching me with eyes that still glowed. He didn’t look pleased with his immediate company, which included Seir, and he didn’t look pleased with me, either.

To wait, take a detour, get medical care, or go straight to Goddess?

Straight to Goddess meant getting past the Fallen, and ‘past the Fallen’ could never be a thing that occurred without incident.

Straight to Lung, angry as he was.

Straight to Goddess, who we would have to tell about Monokeros.

Straight to Cryptid, who wouldn’t look me in the eye.

Straight to Amy, who stood at the edge of that stage, lurking in the corner of my eye, not looking at me. Going out of her way not to look at me. That didn’t make it better.

Crystalclear’s voice interrupted my thoughts. I’d forgotten I was with the group. “I’m going to go see if they’ll let me talk to Ratcatcher. I’m supposed to be keeping an eye on her.”

“Or a crystal. Keeping a crystal on her,” Lookout said.

Crystalclear smiled. “Yeah, I guess. Can you keep an eye out for Fume Hood, Antares?”