‘Like this.’ Exposed, unprepared, with no achievements, no secret weapons, at hand. Tristan will look at me, and he’ll somehow know about everything: Dad standing me up, me hugging the waiter, the exploding cyst, the ingrown hair I currently have on my bikini line, that I haven’t kissed anyone since him.

Harper puts her hand on my arm. She understands. Or maybe she’s just learning how to read my anxiety spirals.

‘Do you want to hide from him?’ Harper says.

‘Yes, I should hide. In the bathrooms? Maybe I’ll just go home?’ I say.

‘No. No. Don’t leave,’ Penny says. She’s looking thoughtful.

‘We can just ignore him,’ Jesse says.

‘I can’t ignore him,’ I say. Tristan and I are friends. Friendly. We said we would stay friends. We haven’t actually spoken all year, but the spirit of friendship exists between us. Tristan is the kind of guy who likes to say ‘I’m still friends with all of my exes’. Whatever we are, I know he will come over and talk to me. I know it. And to ignore him, to act like we’re not friends, to cause a scene, it would make me the loser in this scenario, because he and Kendra would assume I was still upset over the break-up.

‘Okay,’ Penny says. ‘And just hear me out on this.’ She’s smiling in a I’ve-had-a-wild-idea-that-just-might-work way, which makes me nervous. Even more nervous than when she told me she had a surprise. Still, any idea is better than no idea.

‘I’m listening,’ I say.

‘He comes over for a chat, and Henry pretends to be your boyfriend.’

Henry looks startled and then terrified by this idea. Penny is looking pleased with herself, obviously thinking she can still make this match happen.

‘I don’t know,’ I say, looking at Harper. I need a voice of reason.

‘It could work,’ Harper says to me, nodding vigorously.

‘Um, I’m not sure,’ Henry says, also desperately looking for a voice of reason.

Penny turns to me, gripping both my arms, eyes wide with the excitement of hatching a scheme. She is not going to be a voice of reason for anyone.

‘This is not a ref lection on your life, Brooke. It’s just sometimes, when it comes to running into your ex, even if your life is going perfectly, and you look hot—which, you do, you look extremely hot tonight, doesn’t she, Henry?—even if you love being single, even if everything is perfect, in this brief moment you just want that added element of having shown them you have moved on to a new relationship. It’s not sensible, it’s not healthy, it’s not smart, but sometimes you have to do it.’