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Back Unnecessary Drama Save as PDF
Chapters (49)
  1. COVER PAGE
  2. TEXT LOGO PAGE
  3. ABOUT THE BOOK
  4. DEDICATION
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8
  13. 9
  14. 10
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. 31
  36. 32
  37. 33
  38. 34
  39. 35
  40. 36
  41. 37
  42. 38
  43. 39
  44. 40
  45. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  46. ALSO BY NINA KENWOOD
  47. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  48. PRAISE
  49. NEW MARKETING PAGE

‘Yeah I was going to say, the voice is there,’ someone says.

‘I liked the bit where the car broke down.’

‘Me too.’

‘And the scene at the family dinner was funny.’

‘But I hated the guy.’

‘No, I like him!’

I thought I would be fixated on any criticism, and no amount of praise would feel enough, but, actually, listening to them talk about it, I feel detached in a pleasant way. It kind of feels like they’re discussing a real story. By a real writer.

35

35

I get home from writing class, high on happy feelings, and then I remember Jesse is going on a date with Amber tonight. The thought makes me irritable and itchy. Not itchy in a way I can scratch, but itchy in my brain, itchy deep under my skin, itchy in my soul. I can’t sit still. I pace around my room. I decide to clean the bathroom. I need to put my energy somewhere, and getting the bathroom really clean always makes me feel calm. The shine of a white bathtub! The gleam of clean tiles! But no matter how hard I scrub, it doesn’t give me the satisfaction I am looking for.

I want to tell Jesse about the class, the story, the fact that I’m not going to give up on writing, that I don’t need to dedicate my creative life to revenge on PJ Mayfield. He is the first person I want to tell, but I wish he wasn’t.

I decide to go for a run. An exhausted body simply can’t feel as many feelings—it’s practically a scientific fact—plus, despite everything that happened on my first run, I still have a vision of myself as a person who runs.

I start jogging very, very slowly. I have my pump-up-feelgood-you-can-do-this playlist on, and the sun is shining, and I have some of the skills it takes to be a writer. This is as good as it gets. And yet…

Jesse is going on a date with Amber.

I picture them. Staying up all night talking and then they’ll go out again and suddenly they’ll be in a relationship, and things will get serious quickly, and she’ll be at the house all the time, and she and I will pretend to be friends but we absolutely won’t be, and she’ll make comments like, ‘Wow, those earrings are eye-catching’ or ‘Oh, you got a haircut’, observations that might sound like compliments but are actually criticisms, and she and Jesse will double-date with Harper and Penny and I’ll be a fifth wheel all the time, and I’ll end up joining Amber’s mother’s book club and showing them how I do my fruit platter.

I drop to a walk, gasping for breath.

Why is this bothering me so much?

I don’t want him to go on a date with her.

Or anyone.