‘It’s just a uni assignment for now, but I think it could become a real business,’ Penny says. ‘Harper is a little more sceptical.’

‘It’s a lot of work,’ Harper says. ‘Thinking of a cute business name has already taken us weeks, so we’re behind on the actual assignment.’

‘We could be future billionaires—you never know,’ Penny says.

‘We obviously hate billionaires, though,’ Harper says.

‘The plan is to be like the queer, feminist version of Robin Hood, we’re going to use love to make money and then use the money to give back to our community,’ Penny says, waving her fork around to emphasise her points.

‘We still need to figure out how to make it profitable though,’ Harper adds.

‘Sorry, why aren’t you asking Jesse? For this experiment?’ I say.

‘He already ruined things with Amber when he didn’t message her after the housewarming, so he’s had to be discounted from the options,’ Penny says.

‘Wait, what!’ Jesse says. ‘She was not interested in anything else happening! She was into some other guy she was already seeing. Brendan? Braydon? Bryon? Some guy with a B name. She kept talking about him. I shouldn’t get blacklisted for that.’

‘I’m sorry. You’re problematic,’ Harper says, offering him some bread.

‘I was a perfect gentleman!’ Jesse says.

‘Still, the lack of attempted follow-up, letting her get traumatised by a mouse, it’s not the upscale vibe we want for the agency. It doesn’t look good on paper,’ Penny says.

‘Don’t put it on paper, then!’ Jesse says, still looking outraged.

‘Anyway, Brooke is perfect for us. You’ve got a relationship track record with Tristan, but you’re over him and ready to move on,’ Harper says.

‘Did I say that?’ I say, thinking back to our conversation earlier. I definitely didn’t say the words ready to move on, but maybe I gave that impression.

‘All we need is a nice photo of you,’ Penny says.

‘For what?’

‘To get you on our books.’

‘You have books?’

‘Symbolically.’

‘What does that mean?’ I say.

‘I need a photo to send to my cousin Henry. He’s the one we want to set you up with,’ Penny says.

Harper smiles at me in a don’t-kill-me way.

‘Henry is great. You’ll love him,’ she says encouragingly. ‘Like a better version of Tristan.’

‘I’m not sure I want another version of Tristan,’ I say.

‘He’s twenty, a Pisces with Gemini rising, really cute, loves dogs. He’s studying education, plays the flute, barracks for St Kilda, if you care about football. He had a girlfriend in firstyear uni, but they broke up and he’s been single for a while, and my family all think it’s time for him to meet someone new. Someone lovely and funny and kind. Like you!’ Penny says.