‘Well, if a guy rejected me, I might be disappointed short-term but then I’d figure he wasn’t cut out to be the beneficiary of my excellent Leila energy.’ Minnie gave a reluctant lopsided smile. ‘Whereas you, Minnie Cooper, would take it to mean you’re worthless and hideous and doing something wrong.’

Minnie’s phone started ringing from her bag. She picked it up and showed Leila the screen – Quinn was calling her.

‘Do you want to answer it?’ Leila asked.

‘No.’ Minnie shook her head, ‘I’m going to try to be more Leila,’ she said, hanging up the call.

They chatted all afternoon, catching up on all they had missed in each other’s lives. Leila loved her new job at the fashion start-up, but had a new nemesis – a colleague who kept trying to outdo her in the fashion stakes. Minnie told Leila all about working at the catering firm, about living back at home with the endless soundtrack of clocks, and how Lucky kept trying to murder her in her sleep.

The afternoon evaporated and when Ian came home, they were still on the sofa eating Pringles with salsa, cradling large glasses of Pinot Grigio.

‘Ah,’ he said in a deep drawling voice, ‘the prodigal Player One returns. How you getting on out there, Han Solo?’

‘It’s lonely,’ Minnie sighed, getting up to give Ian a hug, ‘but I’m learning all sorts of things about myself.’ She turned to Leila with bulging eyes and a taut grin.

‘Right, I have to pee, bladder the size of a harvest mouse,’ said Leila, jumping up and walking in a comedy cross-legged waddle towards the bathroom.

Minnie took the opportunity to quiz Ian.

‘You haven’t asked her yet?’ she hissed.

‘I was waiting for you. I need you to sort out all the weird shit you said she wanted,’ Ian mumbled, hands plunged into his tracksuit bottom pockets.

‘I’m on it, I promise. I’m sorry, things have been—’

‘I get it, you were off doing a bonus level.’

13 June 2020

‘Is she going to know it’s me?’ said Ian from beneath a heavy domed metal helmet. Fleur’s prop contact had come up trumps.

‘Who else would it be, you goon,’ said Minnie, as she made the final adjustments to his body armour. The plates were specially layered so the wearer could ride a horse. The prop guy said it had been used in Game of Thrones by the Lannister army.