Minnie looked down at his hand and her face went pale. It looked like a piece of the plastic from the piping bag she’d been using. How could that even have come off, let alone got in the filling? Then she remembered she’d started a new one, cutting the end off to let the crème run out. Had she definitely cut off the end properly?

A grin spread across Rob’s face as he waved the tiny piece of plastic in her face.

‘I’ve just been waiting for a reason to fire you,’ he said quietly, his crooked front tooth snagging on his bottom lip.

Minnie felt numb for a second. If she got fired she wouldn’t get a reference, it would all have been for nothing. Every mean thing Rob had ever said flashed through her mind and she didn’t feel numb any more, she felt angry.

In her mind, she visualised picking up the piping bag from the counter next to her, aiming it at Rob’s face and squeezing it as hard as she could. The crème pat would spray out in a perfect consistency, covering his face. He would freeze in shock, or rage, rooted to the spot. The kitchen staff would all turn to see what was happening; a few brave people would whoop and cheer.

‘Go, Minnie!’ Danna would yell from the back.

Minnie’s heart raced. She would reach out for a handful of holly leaves and add them to Rob’s head as a garnish.

‘And don’t forget the glitter,’ she would say, picking up a handful of gold and adding it with a flourish to his crème-covered face. ‘Service!’ Minnie would shout.

She would hear laughter all around her, people with hands clasped over their mouths – she would be a hero! Rob would wipe the crème from his eyes, his grey skin now puce, his mouth hanging open in shock. Minnie would pull off her hairnet, turn and walk out of the kitchen with her head held high, a soundtrack belting out Aretha Franklin’s ‘Respect’ at full volume as she danced from the room and everyone watched her go.

In reality, there was no soundtrack, no spraying of crème pat, Minnie would not dare. She simply picked up her apron and left with her hat in her hand. No one watched her go and the sea of the kitchen closed around her, like water filling the space where a small fish used to swim.

6 January 2020

‘It sounds like Leila’s fucked this up royally,’ said Greg.