My vision goes blurry, and I blink hard until it comes back. This can’t be happening to us again.

“Someone else could’ve been out there with them. What if Jamal’s injured, too?” There has to be a reason. He wouldn’t leave his jacket, and it could explain the blood. Was Jamal attacked? Did someone try to kill him?

“Witnesses identified your vehicle, Mrs. Beaumont. He made it back here. We haven’t been able to locate Angela’s phone yet, but that could help.”

“But if the 911 operator heard her call out for Jamal—”

“Y’all get some sleep. I’m sure we’ll know more tomorrow,” Beverly says. “Tomorrow I’ll do what I can to find Jamal; you do the same. Mrs. Beaumont, try to get more information from Sheriff Brighton so you’ll have legal counsel ready.”

“I’m gonna finish making calls upstairs,” Mama says.

I give her a kiss good night before she takes her time walking upstairs. Slow. Disoriented. She’ll break down when no one’s watching. Then I close the door behind Beverly.

I watch Beverly set up to guard the house, regardless of what the sheriff said. She must have persuaded the other officers to leave, because they drive away, and she takes their post. My heart soars; we have her on our side.

I take this moment to sneak out the back door. Barefoot, I run toward the grass. Warm air whipping around me, I ignore that it’s pitch-black, and chase the path Jamal would’ve taken without being seen. I stop midway into the woods, cup my hands, and yell.

“Jamal!”

I wait for a response. Keep focused on the woods for the slight chance to spot him running back home. I wait and wait. Then yell again.

“Jamal! Jamal!”

I yell until I’m so hoarse it rips my throat to call out again.

I hear my name.

“Jamal.” My voice is strangled. “Come back. Don’t leave us.”

I hear my name again. Turn when I realize it’s coming from behind me, toward the house. Beverly’s arms are wrapped around Mama, watching me cry out for my brother.

I drop to my knees because it wasn’t him. Painful tears spill out my eyes, down onto my chin.

When I’m all dried up with nothing to give, I pick myself up. Prepare myself for the fight.