“I’ll meet you after.” I tug his shirt when he looks away. “I promise.”

Dean nods.

Last night, Dean was everything I’d been waiting for, but then at the community meeting he was the farthest thing from my thoughts. All I could think about was rushing back to the community meeting. The flutter from seeing Quincy. I swallow hard because I don’t have an answer about Dean or Quincy—who I can’t seem to shake.

WILL WE EVER BE

THE SAME?

Dean hangs by his steps, so I perch myself on top of the rail. I mist up at the carvings DE + TB TAKE THE WORLD and run my finger around our initials. I can always tell what kind of mood his mama is in based on whether we go straight inside the house or hang out on the porch.

I’m worried things will never be the same. There’s weird tension now since the community meeting. I don’t know how our kiss might affect our friendship, but I also don’t want to run away from facing the truth. I take a long breath as Dean keeps his head down.

“Ready to talk?” A lump builds in my throat. The things Quincy was saying about Dean have my head spinning.

“We kiss, then today you push me away. I don’t know what you want,” Dean says.

“What do you want me to say?”

“So, you regret last night?” Dean runs his hands through his hair. I don’t answer fast enough. His eyes get wide.

“I don’t know.”

“God, Tracy.” Dean gives a heavy sigh. “Please don’t act like you regret it. Don’t say you take it—”

“I don’t. I don’t take it back. But there’s so much going on right now…What do you want, Dean?”

“I wanted you last night.” Dean’s lips quirk, and my heart races.

“I did, too…”

“But now?”

I’ve loved Dean for so long, but that love was something different. When we crossed that line, it didn’t feel bad; it felt safe. And last night, I needed safe. Now I know I need something different.

“Do we have to have an answer about us?” I look at Dean. “There’s so much going on right now. I don’t want you to be weird around me now. I need you. As…the friend you’ve always been.”

“I’m not in a rush.” Dean swallows hard. “A lot is going on.”

“Then let’s forget this for now and get back to normal? Because I need normal right now.” I’m not sure that’s true. But one thing that I do know I need: my friend Dean. I don’t want to lose him.

“Sure, I want to forget it all…because our kiss was terrible.”

“What?” I slap his arm. “Terrible? Who was terrible?”

“It wasn’t for you? I practically had nightmares.”