My throat catches, and Quincy locks eyes with me. I can see his body going weak. Like the lights are giving him flashbacks to the night he was shot. Sweat beads on his face, and his eyes look glassy. He’s going to pass out if more cops follow. He leans on me; I help him take a seat. My chest is tight and my head is spinning. Quincy has always looked out for us, and I don’t want him near any of this, but I have to focus on family first.

I go to Jamal.

“Jamal.” I point to Quincy, who’s struggling. “We know what happens next. We’ve lived through it. We don’t have options. The best way to de-escalate is to not put up a fight. They’re ready for battle out there. Don’t let their fear grow so all they see is war.”

I don’t know if that’s the right answer, but I also know I can’t control police responses. I can only follow what I’ve been preaching in Know Your Rights workshops.

Jamal’s biting his lip, trying to hold it together. I wrap my arms around him. “They gotta take you in. Walk out with Beverly and a lawyer—that’s the best we gonna get.”

Jamal holds on to me. His fingers dig into my shoulders. My throat aches. I got him back, and now I’m losing him. It hurts to be the one to convince Jamal to step out that door into a situation I know I can’t control.

Jamal hugs Mama, then lifts up Corinne and gives her a kiss. She clings to his neck, won’t let go. He has to pry her off, because he would never use her as a shield, as much as she’s trying to make that happen. She’s sobbing.

“Let’s go.” Jamal closes his eyes.

Steve joins him; Beverly flanks the other side.

“I gotta cuff you, Jamal,” she says. “I won’t do it tight. It’s just to settle the officers outside so they can relax, okay? Take a breath now.”

Jamal takes a long breath. A tear slides down his cheek. When he squares his shoulders, my heart bursts with pride. He won’t let them break him.

Officer Clyde leads all of us out of the house, leaving Jamal, Beverly, and Steve inside.

Eventually, Beverly walks out with Jamal and Steve. My throat constricts because I want Jamal to be seen clear as day. Unarmed. Not a threat. Jackson’s death replays in my mind as if it’s all happening again.