Chapters (55)
- Cover
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Dedication
- Acknowledgments
- Cast of Characters
- Part One
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Part Two
- Twenty
- Twenty-one
- Twenty-two
- Twenty-three
- Twenty-four
- Twenty-five
- Twenty-six
- Twenty-seven
- Twenty-eight
- Twenty-nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-one
- Thirty-two
- Thirty-three
- Thirty-four
- Thirty-five
- Thirty-six
- Thirty-seven
- Thirty-eight
- Thirty-nine
- Forty
- Forty-one
- Forty-two
- Forty-three
- Forty-four
- Forty-five
- Forty-six
- A note on the Author
I put a hand at the crown of her head, and followed the dark strands down to her shoulder blades, one of the only sharp areas on her otherwise soft body. I walked my fingers up the back of her T-shirt to her bra strap and felt, with my thumb, its texture against her skin. I moved up to her neck, pulling aside her hair like a dark velvet curtain. Beneath the dark velvet was crème-brûlée silk. And beneath the crème brûlée was, I supposed, blood and other slimy things, although I could hardly imagine it. I saw her getting harder the further into her body one traveled because Cyrinda was an inside-out crab, with all the delicious, soft meat on the outside and nothing you would want near you underneath.
A car skidded outside. I waited for it to hit a tree, but it didn’t. And because the car and its driver escaped unscathed, I decided it would be okay for me to proceed along her body. Slipping my arm around her broad rib cage, I started stroking her breast. I was so scared, I didn’t know if it was her left or right breast, or even if it was a breast, only that it was flesh. I did it very lightly at first as if it were a mistake. I kept going, like a dirty old man on the subway, holding my breath, waiting for her to shout, “Pervert!” Am I still in the shape of a beautiful girl? I asked myself. Touching another beautiful girl, needing her lush prettiness, am I still pretty, if I need it so badly?
As if in answer, Cyrinda stirred. I sensed her eyelids flutter open. But she didn’t say anything, so I kept stroking. I waited for another car to zoom past the window, but there was no sound, except us: her breathing hard, me breathing soft, too scared to breathe properly in case I made too much noise. It felt like we were alone in the city. She turned to face me, her beautiful bunny face inquisitive.
“Were you doing what I think you were doing?”
“Yes.”
“Good. I liked it. Don’t stop.”
As soon as she said that, I couldn’t do it anymore. I withdrew my hand so fast; she might have been about to bite it. I nursed it as though she had bitten me, holding it to my mouth until, stirred to action, she sat up straight, took my hand and, holding it behind my back, kissed me on my bitten lips. There was so little love to the kiss she gave me that I wanted to give it back.