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Chapters (55)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Dedication
  5. Acknowledgments
  6. Cast of Characters
  7. Part One
  8. One
  9. Two
  10. Three
  11. Four
  12. Five
  13. Six
  14. Seven
  15. Eight
  16. Nine
  17. Ten
  18. Eleven
  19. Twelve
  20. Thirteen
  21. Fourteen
  22. Fifteen
  23. Sixteen
  24. Seventeen
  25. Eighteen
  26. Nineteen
  27. Part Two
  28. Twenty
  29. Twenty-one
  30. Twenty-two
  31. Twenty-three
  32. Twenty-four
  33. Twenty-five
  34. Twenty-six
  35. Twenty-seven
  36. Twenty-eight
  37. Twenty-nine
  38. Thirty
  39. Thirty-one
  40. Thirty-two
  41. Thirty-three
  42. Thirty-four
  43. Thirty-five
  44. Thirty-six
  45. Thirty-seven
  46. Thirty-eight
  47. Thirty-nine
  48. Forty
  49. Forty-one
  50. Forty-two
  51. Forty-three
  52. Forty-four
  53. Forty-five
  54. Forty-six
  55. A note on the Author

I stomped behind him as he skated to the Polish 24-hour diner on the corner of 7th Street. “Christ, Ruby, I feel like I should request a child’s booster seat for you,” he said as I bounced around my chair, fizzing from the sugar in the chocolate-flavored chocolate syrup. Grinning, I dribbled it down my chin.

“Ruby, that might be erotic if it were strawberries.”

I smeared it across the whole lower half of my face until I was wearing a sticky chocolate beard. How ugly can I get … how ugly, before he cannot look at me?

“It’s not working,” said Sebastian wearily, for we had been through this many times. “I’m not going to stop liking you.”

Defeated, I tossed my maraschino cherry at him. He deftly caught it, folded it into a napkin, placed it in an ashtray and went on with his sundae, picking around the nuts. He rethought his words, upgrading them like a last-minute hustler at the Virgin Atlantic check-in desk.

“I’m not going to stop liking you. I’m not going to stop loving you.”

But then he did.

Fourteen

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Compare and contrast

I loved her. I really loved her. I still do. But all that kicking in her sleep, all the crying and talking about the vampire. It was hard. I’ve had a lot of girlfriends. I’ve had girlfriends before who had eating problems, anorexia or what not. I wish she had taken better care of herself. All my girlfriends before her, even the anorexic ones, they always exercised. I was at college running track. Most of the girls I met were running track too. They were pretty buff, tough girls. Some of them would get fucked-up on coke and start bawling. But none of them, even the anorexics, were fragile like Ruby was. I guess like Ruby still is.

Just ’cause I’ve stopped seeing her doesn’t mean she’s ceased to exist. I care about her. I just can’t have her in my life. I guess she’s driving some other poor schmo crazy. I guess I did feel, at times, that I could be anyone. It was kind of like Ruby going around town shouting, “Hey, everybody, look at the size of this black guy I caught.” I think she really hated herself for liking me because I’m black. Ruby’s family is really fuckin’ racist. They say they’re so liberal, but they always wanted her to be with a Jew. That’s why she secretly loves being a movie star and loves Hollywood. ’Cause everyone knows that it’s all run by Jews, and that’s not anti-Semitic, it’s just the truth. I think she feels she’s doing her family right.

She was always telling people how tall I was, how beautiful I was, how well built.