Chapters (55)
- Cover
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Dedication
- Acknowledgments
- Cast of Characters
- Part One
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Part Two
- Twenty
- Twenty-one
- Twenty-two
- Twenty-three
- Twenty-four
- Twenty-five
- Twenty-six
- Twenty-seven
- Twenty-eight
- Twenty-nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-one
- Thirty-two
- Thirty-three
- Thirty-four
- Thirty-five
- Thirty-six
- Thirty-seven
- Thirty-eight
- Thirty-nine
- Forty
- Forty-one
- Forty-two
- Forty-three
- Forty-four
- Forty-five
- Forty-six
- A note on the Author
Time to get up now
Marcelle brought my dinner on a tray without a word, then went back to her chair and her gaze, which I followed out above the traffic to the movie theater on Greenwich Avenue.
Looking at the theater, I suddenly had the desire to leave my cozy bed and my soothing babysitter. I wanted to get out. I wanted to be alive, in the world. I wanted to pay to see things, pay to hear things, and pay to read things. I wanted to pay to wear things on my body, which had, I couldn’t help but note, morphed into a more pleasing shape in the time I had been away from the world.
As the sun set over Manhattan, in a stream of orange and navy, Marcelle clicked out of her silent reverie and back into language.
“Ohmigod. God is love. It is so wonderful to know him. He is with me every minute of the day, talking to me, listening to me.”
“That sounds lovely, Marcelle.”
“It is the most beautiful thing. And it is the most normal thing too, for he never leaves my side. Sometime I don’t even realize he is there, because he is so quiet, looking after me.”
I guess it doesn’t make a lot of noise to look after someone. I guess you just make noise when you need looking after. I liked her description of this quiet man who supported her in every way. Head melting into the pillow as sleep began to caress my face, I asked, “Does He always forgive you?”
“Yes! I’m forgiven a thousand times. And so are you! That is why you is sitting here, talking to me right now. Because you are forgiven. It is going to be all right. It is going to be fine, because He saved you. He got a special plan for you.”
She closed her eyes in ecstasy and sang out loud, “Jesus loves you!”
Thank you. Thank you, Jesus. I did not love him back, not at all, but I was so grateful for His love. I will always remember Marcelle as the first and last person who made me believe in God. For a few short hours I was a devout believer. But I think it was really her I believed in. When she left during the night, my belief was gone too. I woke up in the morning, an atheist again. Between my sleep and waking, I saw someone I did believe in.
Forty-two
You again?
Her eyes sprang open and she knew enough, instinctively, to shut them tight again. There was a stirring in the corner of the room. Ruby was frightened, the first time she had felt the rapid car-alarm heartbeat since she had tried to dull it altogether. Peering under her lashes, she watched a shadowy figure leaning against the window, staring out into the night.
“Marcelle?” she asked foolishly, for she knew it was not her.