Everyone always makes fun of Los Angeles. New Yorkers are so snotty about the West Coast. But you know, even though I did have my facials, my hairdresser, colorist, and masseuse, they were all good people. Good, kind souls working crappy jobs. I mean, I like to think, naive as it sounds, that I would have felt it otherwise. Bad people have vibes, like the energy left behind by dead people. I saw that masseuse twice a week. I would have known if she had been a duplicitous evil bitch. Ruby can’t feel the energy from dead people because she’s convinced herself that she is dead already.

Most people in California are pretty decent. I think it’s because we always see such a large expanse of sky. Things fall into perspective. In New York, you barely see the sky at all, and your life becomes tinier and tinier the more you look up. You look up to the heavens for help, for salvation, but there isn’t anything up there that isn’t man-made, so you look back down again.

I’ve lived on both coasts. Ruby’s worked on both coasts and that’s different. She doesn’t have that same intuition that I do. She gives pieces of herself away, for way below the fair price, as though her soul were a going-out-of-business sale.

It was such bad weather. And she was in such a bad state. I don’t think she realizes, even now, how sick she was that first night. I mean, she was totally looped. Of course, I hated her, I was furious for the cavalier manner in which she had destroyed my marriage. But I couldn’t hate her for long. First, I was worried that if I let her go home, she would die and I would have to answer a lot of police questions and the tabloids would get hold of it and it would be a big mess. And second … well, it sounds ridiculous … but this all happened right after Monica Lewinsky and Linda Tripp.

I remember being so horrified by what that woman did to that silly, skittish little girl. I promised myself that I would never be jealous or spiteful to a girl who was younger than me. Furthermore, I would take it upon myself, should the opportunity arise, to educate them in the ways of men. I still believe in a kind of emotional networking between women. As an older woman, it is my duty to give her advice, listen to her, and attempt to straighten her out, just as I would expect a woman fifteen years older than I am to advise me.