Chapters (55)
- Cover
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Dedication
- Acknowledgments
- Cast of Characters
- Part One
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Part Two
- Twenty
- Twenty-one
- Twenty-two
- Twenty-three
- Twenty-four
- Twenty-five
- Twenty-six
- Twenty-seven
- Twenty-eight
- Twenty-nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-one
- Thirty-two
- Thirty-three
- Thirty-four
- Thirty-five
- Thirty-six
- Thirty-seven
- Thirty-eight
- Thirty-nine
- Forty
- Forty-one
- Forty-two
- Forty-three
- Forty-four
- Forty-five
- Forty-six
- A note on the Author
“No,” she answered, frustrated, and he went right back to sleep. Once Arlo and I did start hanging out, he still didn’t know who I was. He introduced me to the drummer in his band with great excitement. “Guess who this is! It’s Ruby. She’s famous. She was in that show My New Robot! You know? From when we were kids? The one about a little girl whose best friend is an android.”
“What the hell is My New Robot?” I asked, perplexed.
We determined it to be a sitcom he had dreamed. Jesus, I could pitch My New Robot to my former agent and he’d probably think it was a great vehicle for my talents.
My talents are: I knew what I wanted. I knew what I didn’t want. I knew at a young age. I had big breasts at a young age. I have a round white face like the surface of the moon. It looks fat in real life but girlish on film. I carved myself an unforeseen niche as the fucked-up girl for any kid who thinks they are remotely interesting or unusual to have a crush on. The people who like that really like it. I have the added advantage of scrubbing up nicely when I feel like it, so I look like I have range, when really I just have good skin.
The red twin and the yellow twin, their boyfriends, puppies, and ferrets distracted me from the worst of the drugs. We smoked pot now and then and laughed at the animals. Sometimes I’d go on my Percocet benders, but that was it. The kids next door had never met Sebastian Chase, but I regaled them with enough stories that now whenever I mention him the yellow twin spits, “I hate that asshole.” “I hate him.”
I had reinvented Sebastian for those who weren’t present in my life before he left it, and I was damned if I knew what was true or not. He must have done something to make me send him away. I never told them about how he knew which tear was which. It didn’t seem like such an engaging story. I didn’t want to hand it out as we fed the ferret or washed the puppy. I’d been thinking about Sebastian for a couple of days. I thought about how nice his body was. Then I thought about how, when you really really think about it, sex is a pretty weird thing.