I stepped out into the narrow corridor and closed the dressing-room door behind me. It was dim and gamey where the tallow candles that lined the walls had burnt low. Still shaky, I trailed my hand along the wall for balance as I made my way to the foyer ready for Vincent to collect me. The foyer was a square room, big enough to hold fifty people as they waited for the doors to open before showtime, with a bar running along one side. The chars hadn’t been in to do their cleaning yet and it smelt strongly of spilt beer. The walls were papered with brightly coloured prints of previous shows and star turns. The first one, gaudy in pinks and blues, read CRILLICK’S AMAZING VARIETY, with a drawing of three acrobats. Even though it was a few years ago now, I remembered that show.

I’d been desperate to see it, but I was on my own by that point and all the money I had went on rooms that would keep me off the streets and out of the Blackbirds’ clutches. When food felt like a luxury, three whole pennies for a few hours’ entertainment was out of the question. Still, that poster kept on calling to me every time I walked past it, and so one night I snuck in round the back of the theatre. In the corridor that I now used myself I lost my nerve, terrified I might accidentally burst on stage, so I never actually saw the performance. Instead, I lurked just out of sight, ready to flee if anyone came along, listening to the gasps and cheers of the audience and imagining what it was they might be seeing. Crillick’s had a different troupe of acrobats now. They were the second act onstage, so I was always in my room getting ready when they were performing, but I made a point of watching them practise for the girl I’d once been, who’d wanted to see cartwheels and kicks and tightrope walking, but hadn’t been able to afford it. I moved on to the next poster, which was dominated by a drawing of Aldous in his black cape. The magician had been the main attraction since the autumn of ’46, but, as Crillick said, the times had changed, people wanted something new nowadays.