But a dozen other thoughts carried him to the front door—his love for his sister, for the niece he’d never met and the family he’d lost. His love for Madigan and the future he wanted with her. His need to apologize, to ask for forgiveness even if he didn’t receive it. His conflicting feelings for the best friend he’d lost…and the monster he hadn’t seen. He needed to make this right, to show Carrie that all men were not animals.

He stood at the door with his heart in his throat, throwing out one last prayer that she wouldn’t slam it in his face, and finally forced himself to knock.

His sister’s face appeared in the sidelight window, eyes widening, brow furrowing.

Please open the door. Please give me a fucking chance.

The door opened slowly, and then she was standing before him, worry thickening his throat as she opened her mouth to speak. He couldn’t bear the thought of her telling him to leave, or worse, so he held up his hands and cut her off.

“I know you don’t want me here. Please just hear me out. I’m sorry for ruining your life. I’m sorry for hitting—killing—Kevin. I never meant for that to happen. I loved him like a brother, and when I saw him push you…the bruises. I couldn’t…I lost it. I love you.” Tears slid down her cheeks, drawing his own as he poured his heart out. “Seeing him…I couldn’t just let it happen. I wish I’d never met him and had never introduced you two. It’s my fault he got to you, and I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I miss you every fucking day, and I will do anything to make it up to you. I know that’s selfish. This shouldn’t be about me or what I want. But it was always us. You and me against the world, and when I lost you, I—”

“Felt like you lost the one person you could always count on?” she said, hushed and angry as she stepped out of the house, pulling the door closed behind her.

“Yes. I know I fucked up everything.”

She wrapped her arms around her middle, like she’d done as a little girl when she was sad or mad or scared. Fuck. Was she scared of him?

“You did,” she said through a river of tears, her words gutting him anew. “You fucked up a lot of things.”

“Carrie—”

“You killed the man I loved,” she seethed, his plea lost to her vehemence. “That messed me up in ways I can’t even begin to describe. You killed my baby girl’s father.”