“It’s me. When we were sitting around the fire, listening to Gunner and Sid talk about their recent rescues, Zeke’s stories about the kids he’s helping at the community center, Baz talking about the surgery he’s doing on that dog tomorrow, and Leah going on about the mural Tank had painted in the nursery, Junie was curled up in Conroy’s lap and Rosie in Reba’s, and your brothers were loving on their significant others. Your parents were sneaking kisses, and Con and Ginger were whispering like teenagers, and all I could think about was how lucky I am and how I don’t deserve it, because I ruined any chance Carrie had at that.” He turned away, pacing. “I don’t know what to do with the guilt, and I don’t want to bring you down because of my shit. I don’t even know if my sister had a baby shower. But I do know that I fucked her over, and maybe you’re right and I saved her from a worse fate, but that doesn’t take away the guilt. When Tank was talking to Leah’s belly, I was thinking that Carrie never had that.”

“Then go see her. Talk to her.”

“I told you what she said.” He shook his head and sat on the couch in the living room, leaning his elbows on his legs.

Madigan sank to her knees in front of him. “Everyone says things they don’t mean. What’s the worst that can happen?”

“I can’t risk making her hate me even more.”

“What do you think she’s going to say?” Her mind raced as his anguish filled the long silence stretching between them. She wanted to ease his pain, to get him to really talk about what he thought might happen, and an idea formed. “I’ll be right back.”

She went to get two of her puppets and lowered herself to the floor in front of him again.

“What’re you doing, Blue Eyes? Puppets can’t fix this.”

“How much do you trust me?”

A slightly crooked smile appeared. “Explicitly.”

“Good, then just go with it. We’re going to play devil’s advocate and figure out what you think might happen.” She handed him a girl puppet and showed him how to use it.

He looked at the puppet. “I’m feeling a little emasculated.”

“It’s good for you to explore your feminine side.” She wanted to know what he thought his sister would say. “I’m going to be you, and you’ll be Carrie. We’ll pretend you’ve just knocked on her door.” She held up her bearded puppet.

“I can’t go to her house. It’s an invasion of her personal space.”

“Oh. I didn’t think of that. Where would you go see her?”

“I don’t know.”