“I know you would, and part of me would like you to. But a bigger part of me doesn’t want what happened to Tobias to happen to you. I was a kid, and kids do stupid things. I didn’t realize that what happened to Ashley would have an impact on how you saw me and the things I did until you said what you did the night Tobias left, but I was too angry to hear it. Ash is always on my mind, too. She was my best friend, and I wish she had told me what was going on with her. I would have tried to talk her through it, and maybe that night would have ended differently. But we can’t go back and undo things that have happened. We can only learn from the past and try to do better in the future. And what I’ve learned from all of this is that when you couple your worry with my secret, it makes me the ticking time bomb, and you’re continually trying to clear a path so I don’t get tripped up and go off.”

The muscles in his jaw bulged, his eyes narrowing again.

“I love you for that, Blaine, but what happened in Spain is not your fault. What happened to Ashley is not your fault. You can’t be everywhere I am, but the man that I’m crazy about? The man who spent three years behind bars for protecting his sister? I’m pretty sure he’ll be there for me when you’re not, and that should make you feel good, not angry.” She swiped at a tear sliding down her cheek.

“Aw, hell, Mads. Don’t cry.” He pulled her into his arms. “I’m sorry I’ve been a dick, but every time I look at him, I remember how crushed you were when I told you what he’d done, and it pisses me off that he hadn’t told you himself.”

She pushed from his arms. “I told you that was on me.”

“I get it,” he snapped. “But I can’t help it.”

“Well, you need to, because you’re making me choose between the two of you, and you’re making it uncomfortable for everyone else, and that’s not fair.”

“I don’t want you to fucking choose. You’re with him, and this is my shit. I was eight when you were born, and I’ve been watching out for you ever since, and it’s really fucking hard to just hand over the reins to some other guy. But the last thing I want is to lose you.”