Opposite us, on the other end of the table, are Sarah and Rufus, drinking a glass of rosé and a beer, respectively, and looking a bit like summer renters in the Hamptons—they don’t officially belong but they’ll try their best to look it.

I make eye contact with one of the waiters, a man with a thin face standing near the dining room’s exit, and point to my empty water glass. “Can I have another?” I mouth, barely finishing the last word before he is off, catering to my every whim as he is probably grossly underpaid to do. I’d mentioned to Molly after my first glass of wine that I didn’t want to drink anymore tonight—I need to stay sharp—but I didn’t want anyone to know it.

A glass of ice water with a lime performatively balancing on its edge is delivered but a minute later, as if they had a tray of them in the kitchen, waiting for me to summon them one by one. My old glass disappears as the new one replaces it, like it was never there in the first place. A vodka-soda-appearing drink is perfect. I take a slow and shallow sip, holding the icy water against my impenetrable red lips until they begin to go numb.

I hate everyone at this table except for Lena—and Rufus, whom I know the least and to whom I have not spoken one full word the entire night. He seems like the one person who isn’t gob-smacked by this family, their wealth, their connections. He seems grounded in a way no one I’ve met in a while has been.

For most of the evening I watch Sarah make the rounds, charming everyone with her soft giggle and wild enthusiasm for everything. It’s sweet, to be that easily excited, to be so carefree that the world can amuse you that much. It also helps that she’s hot—an Alexa Chung type.

She asks Cheryl about her first impression of me—“I knew immediately that she was the one”—and presses Veronica for a quote about our relationship—“She’s the sister I never had.” She lingers between Reed and Doug, asking them about work. She seems genuinely fascinated by the hierarchy of Vermont, and where Doug’s spot is, right at the top. He might not be the governor, but he has the governor’s ear whenever he wants. And his money means that what Doug wants, Doug gets.