“He’s incredibly generous,” I say, pretending to think, though I already had a good answer teed up. “And kind. It was very important to me that he was kind.” That word has become more and more empty the more celebrities talk about it in their prematurely published memoirs and Instagram stories. The more the word is used to describe a state of being rather than a series of actions. You can no longer become kind by feeding the homeless or tutoring children or, even, hiding your temper. You’re either kind or you’re not. You’re born with it or you die without it. I wait a beat before continuing, for emphasis. Then, with my gentlest smile, “He’s my best friend.”

The key to any interrogation like this is not what you say, but what you don’t. I might not be fooled by a journalist’s silence trick, but the jig works both ways. People love to fill in the holes I leave out, and I let them. They can think whatever they want. They couldn’t possibly begin to guess the truth.

EIGHT

Ten-Point Violations** (may include a $100 fine):

Deception

Allowing someone to enter the residence of a person of the opposite sex

Music, television, movies, or other media with a PG-13 rating or above, as well as anything else deemed untoward including but not limited to all rap music and reality television

**Appeals for 10-point violations should be submitted to the respective Resident Assistant within 24 hours of notification. Evidence is required. All appeal decisions are final.

Ruthie and I were on our knees, our hands clasped together, heads bowed, staring down at the gray carpet of the dorm’s hallway, and following Brigid in prayer.

“While we don’t dismiss their actions as they each inexcusably violated the Covenant Code,” Brigid continued, “we do pray, oh Lord, for your forgiveness. That you forgive them, and all of us, for the part we played. As a faithful community made in your name, we stand together in sin. We all must learn and reflect on our own actions, as all our friends do with theirs.”

As she passed us in her methodical pace up and down the short hallway, continuing to spew prayers, bloated with buzzwords and every synonym for God you could possibly imagine, I felt Ruthie’s elbow jab into my ribs. I opened one eye and looked at her. “I get that we’re supposed to pray for each other’s souls or whatever—” her mouth moved but no sound came out “—but don’t they also teach forgiveness? My knees hurt. It’s been a month. We’re still doing this?”