Chapters (34)
I figured she was getting Catherine and Annie, and we were going to go home. She was done with this party, and honestly, so was I. But she walked right past them, not acknowledging Catherine’s overuse of her camera, and instead ended up at the Gatorade cooler. She snatched a cup from the stack and filled it. Then she put her head back and gulped the entire thing, throwing the cup onto the floor as she finished. She seemed for a second like she was going to throw up—mouth pursed, her eyes watering—but I think it was just a burp instead.
She turned her back to the cooler and looked around the room and when she spotted whatever she was looking for, she took a deep breath, pulled at her shirt, at the necklace around her neck, and then walked silo-visioned to a group of guys standing in the center of the barn, not dancing but not standing still either.
She tapped one on the shoulder—the taller of the two guys who greeted us when we first got here. I think the one she said she’d hooked up with, but I couldn’t tell the difference. Everything was blurry—from alcohol, from anxiety, from anger. When he turned around, she pulled him by the collar and kissed him. Hard. Sloppy and messy and hard. I could tell Ruthie didn’t like it, but she kept going, letting her hands get caught in his hair, letting his roam down her back.
When they finally parted, Ruthie smiled and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and then got on her tiptoes to say something into his ear. He smiled, wide, then nodded and took her hand.
As he led her out of the barn, out the back exit I used with Timothy, Ruthie turned back and looked at me. She didn’t seem excited or happy. She didn’t seem like she wanted this at all. She seemed vengeful. She looked like she hated me.
And then they were gone.
I ran after her. I ran to the barn door and pushed it open. I wanted to say I was sorry. Tell her not to do this unless she wanted to. Make sure she knew I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean any of it.
When I got outside the snow was really coming down. Thick white flakes reflecting the moon as they sprinkled the entire world, falling on my hair and my shirt and my nose.
She wasn’t out here. She was in the woods.
They were gone.
And I never saw Ruthie again.