Instead, I roll the window down and let the cool air hit my face, blowing away the last eight years. I close my eyes and can feel us speeding up, turning with the mountains, and moving away from this place. From these memories. These people.

I don’t know what’s next. I didn’t plan that far ahead. But that’s okay with me. I like not having a plan. I feel free. It’s the first time in years I can be whomever I want.

In the far distance, like a flash of home, I can hear a gunshot, tinny and cold. A hunter preparing for the season, like they always do this time of year. As the echo gets farther away, eventually fading into the wind, an overwhelming silence follows.

I can rest my head.

I can take a deep breath.

I can close my eyes.

I can finally feel peace.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

First, I want to thank you, the reader, for picking up this book. I also want to thank everyone who read my first book, Smile and Look Pretty. Thank you for every purchase, every post, every library request, every photo, every like, every review, every message. It is because of your support that I’m able to do the job that I love. I hope you like this book, too.

Thank you to my literary agent, Liz Parker. Thank you for always championing me and my writing, for giving the absolute best advice, and for knowing exactly what to say during my stressed calls and emails. I still can’t believe what started in the slush pile has turned into two novels I’m incredibly proud of. I’m so grateful to be on this wild journey with you.

Thank you to my editor, Laura Brown, for taking this book under your wing and loving it like one of your own. This book is so much better because of your patience, brainstorms, and gimlet-eyed edits. And you were so right about the title. Thank you, Natalie Hallak, for seeing the promise in this idea very early on. Thank you to everyone at Park Row Books and HarperCollins—especially Justine Sha and Nicole Luongo—for your incredible support.

Thank you, Chris Lupo, Anne Sawyier, and the whole team at Verve; Delaney Morris, Matt Rosen, and the whole team at Grandview. Thank you for always working to give my books a second life and for pushing me and my writing career.

Thank you, Jake, Tess, Dorian, and Richard Froelich and Shevaun Stigers for your hospitality and for the inspiration behind the Vermont setting. I wrote the first sentence of this book at your home there, and I’m so grateful to have had a place to sit in the brisk October air with a glass of wine and a fire and plot out this book.

To Bernadette, my freshman year roommate, who complained there was no one named after her in my first book...how’s this?