Mandy picked his boots up and took them to the back door, stood them out on the paving stones. She took a few deep breaths, caught the sound of waves down on the beach, a peal of laughter. She’d never felt more reluctant to turn back into a room with her husband in it.

He was staring at his hands.

‘You didn’t tell me about this.’ She picked up a few bits of dirt that had dropped from the tread of his boots. ‘That you’d left a child behind. You didn’t say.’

‘No. I put it out of my mind.’

‘Have you done that before?’

‘No. First time.’

‘And now Ray wants you to go back and get him, does he?’

‘That’s right. He was none too pleased I came back without him the last time.’ He trod across the lino in his socks, looking out at the yard. ‘I can’t face going back out there, Mand. Think I’ve come to the end of the road with this business.’

She filled the kettle at the tap, put it onto the hob and lit the flame beneath it. She considered her words, her tone. ‘You know,’ she said, keeping her back to him, ‘you’re taking it all too much to heart. Letting it get to you again. You need to remember this is about the best interests of these kids. Making sure they get a decent start in life.’

‘Now you sound like Ray.’

She turned to face him. ‘Ray might have a point. You don’t know what’s really going on in these families. Just because you don’t see anything wrong, doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong. You might have left that child to get neglected.’

‘You might be right, Amanda.’ He looked down at his feet. ‘But you might be wrong. That’s the trouble.’ He was sweating through his uniform, dark rings forming under his arms. ‘I went into this thinking I was the good guy. But over the years it’s turned itself around on me. I think maybe I’m the bad guy.’

‘Don’t say that.’ A kookaburra laughed at the back of the yard, making her jump. She wished he wouldn’t talk this way. ‘Of course you’re not the bad guy. I know who you are. You don’t have a bad bone in your body.’

‘You don’t understand.’

‘You’re a decent man doing a good job. Don’t talk daft.’

He crossed the room and reached for the drawer where her cigarette packet was lying open. Only two left in the pack. He drew them both out and handed her one.

‘I’m not doing so well at packing them in,’ she said, leaning forward gratefully as he lit a match.

‘I know. I’m not stupid, Mandy. I can smell ’em on you.’

‘Right.’ She inhaled deeply.

‘I want us to be straight with each other. Honest.’

She stood next to him and leaned back against the counter top. ‘So do I, love.’

‘I need you to hear what I’m saying. Try to understand.’