‘I do understand.’

‘Do you?’ He crushed the empty packet and lit his own cigarette. He wasn’t much of a smoker. Cigarettes looked thin in his hands, and he rarely took more than a few puffs, which was wasteful in Mandy’s view.

‘Look, it’s not up to you if a child gets taken or not, is it?’ She rinsed out the ashtray and put it down on the counter top. ‘It’s not your fault if there’s a mistake.’

‘They should look at some of the Homes if they want to see neglect.’ He pointed north, out through Joe’s house and beyond. ‘They ought to go look at the places I take those kids to. Neglect’s the least of it.’

Mandy looked around at her half-clean kitchen, the bright sunlight in the yard, the mess of her interrupted morning. She was going to have to hear him out. He was right; she didn’t understand, not really. She’d thought he was taking kids into care, where they’d have a better life. She’d thought she’d married a policeman and he’d be brave and uncomplicated.

‘Is it that bad,’ she said, ‘in the Homes?’

‘They shouldn’t call ’em Homes.’ He puffed on his cigarette, barely inhaling. ‘They’re not homes, they’re institutions.’

‘It’s got to be better than leaving them where they are, hasn’t it? I remember you saying they live in dirty conditions, these people. Kids looking after themselves, not enough to eat. I remember you were shocked by it.’

‘That’s true.’ He closed his eyes against the smoke. ‘There’s a time I was shocked by that kind of thing.’

‘It’s not good for children, growing up dirty and hungry, but.’

‘People who live that way still love their kids, Mandy. Once you understand that, you start to have your doubts about all of it.’

The kettle rumbled and she reached into the cupboard for two cups. ‘He’s a baby, is he, this boy you’re meant to go back for?’

He nodded. ‘Few months old, I think.’

‘Why do they want him removed?’

He shrugged a shoulder. ‘The family unit’s not regular. The dad doesn’t have anything to do with ’em. Mum’s just a kid herself. The grandpa seems to keep the family going but there’s not much money to go round.’

‘Maybe it’ll be better for the boy then, Steve. Getting taken out of there so young. He won’t know anything else. Won’t remember his family.’

He stood up straight and thumped the counter top with his fist. Smoke streamed from his nostrils. ‘Christ, Mandy. Haven’t you heard me?’

‘Yes, I heard you. I’m trying to make you see sense, is all.’

‘You’re the one who needs to see sense. It’s not right, this business. Do you understand?’

‘I understand you’re a good man.’ She said it softly. ‘That’s what I understand.’

‘How can I be? I’m on the wrong side.’ He shook his head. ‘I’m through with this. I can’t do it any more. I’m going to tell Ray I’m done with it. He can find someone else to do the job.’