HODGE

Come, Ralph. Stand to it, Firk. My masters, as we are the brave

bloods of the shoemakers, heirs apparent to Saint Hugh, and

perpetual benefactors to all good fellows, thou shalt have no

wrong. Were Hammon a king of spades, he should not delve in

thy close without thy sufferance. But tell me, Ralph, art thou

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sure ‘tis thy wife?

RALPH

Am I sure this is Firk? This morning, when I stroked on her

shoes, I looked upon her, and she upon me, and sighed, asked

me if ever I knew one Ralph. Yes, said I. For his sake, said she –

tears standing in her eyes - and for thou art somewhat like him,

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spend this piece of gold. I took it; my lame leg and my travel

beyond sea made me unknown. All is one for that. I know she’s

mine.

FIRK

Did she give thee this gold? O glorious glittering gold! She’s

thine own, ‘tis thy wife, and she loves thee; for, I’ll stand to’t,

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there’s no woman will give gold to any man but she thinks

better of him than she thinks of them she gives silver to. And

for Hammon, neither Hammon nor hangman shall wrong thee

in London. Is not our old master Eyre Lord Mayor? Speak, my

hearts!

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ALL

Yes, and Hammon shall know it to his cost!

HODGE

Peace, my bullies; yonder they come.

RALPH

Stand to’t, my hearts. Firk, let me speak first.

HODGE

No, Ralph, let me. Hammon, whither away so early?

HAMMON

Unmannerly rude slave, what’s that to thee?

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FIRK

To him, sir? Yes, sir, and to me, and others. Good morrow, Jane,

how dost thou? Good Lord, how the world is changed with you,

God be thanked.

HAMMON

Villains, hands off! How dare you touch my love?

SHOEMAKERS

Villains? Down with them! Cry clubs for prentices!

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HODGE

Hold, my hearts. Touch her, Hammon? Yea, and more than that,

we’ll carry her away with us. My masters and gentlemen, never

draw your bird-spits. Shoemakers are steel to the back, men

every inch of them, all spirit.

ALL OF HAMMON’S SIDE

Well, and what of all this?

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HODGE

I’ll show you. Jane, dost thou know this man? ‘Tis Ralph, I can

tell thee. Nay, ‘tis he, in faith. Though he be lamed by the wars,

yet look not strange, but run to him, fold him about the neck

and kiss him.

JANE

Lives then my husband? O God, let me go!

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Let me embrace my Ralph.

HAMMON What means my Jane?

JANE

Nay, what meant you to tell me he was slain?

HAMMON

Pardon me, dear love, for being misled.

[To Ralph] ‘Twas rumoured here in London thou wert dead.

FIRK

Thou seest he lives. Lass, go, pack home with him. Now, Master

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Hammon, where’s your mistress your wife?

SERVANT

’Swounds, master, fight for her! Will you thus lose her?

SHOEMAKERS

Down with that creature! Clubs! Down with him!

HODGE

Hold, hold!

HAMMON

Hold, fool! Sirs, he shall do no wrong.

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Will my Jane leave me thus, and break her faith?

FIRK

Yea, sir, she must, sir, she shall, sir. What then? Mend it.

HODGE

Hark, fellow Ralph: follow my counsel. Set the wench in the

midst, and let her choose her man, and let her be his woman.

JANE

Whom should I choose? Whom should my thoughts affect

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But him whom heaven hath made to be my love?

[To Ralph] Thou art my husband, and these humble weeds

Makes thee more beautiful than all his wealth.

Therefore I will but put off his attire,

Returning it into the owner’s hand,

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And after ever be thy constant wife.

HODGE

Not a rag, Jane. The law’s on our side. He that sows in another

man’s ground forfeits his harvest. Get thee home, Ralph; follow

him, Jane. He shall not have so much as a busk-point from

thee.

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FIRK

Stand to that, Ralph. The appurtenances are thine own.

Hammon, look not at her.

SERVANT

O ‘swounds, no!

FIRK

Bluecoat, be quiet: we’ll give you a new livery else! We’ll make

Shrove Tuesday Saint George’s Day for you! Look not, Hammon,

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leer not! I’ll firk you! For thy head now - one glance, one

sheep’s eye, anything at her! Touch not a rag, lest I and my

brethren beat you to clouts!

SERVANT

Come, Master Hammon, there’s no striving here.

HAMMON

Good fellows, hear me speak; and honest Ralph,

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Whom I have injured most by loving Jane,

Mark what I offer thee. Here in fair gold

Is twenty pound. I’ll give it for thy Jane.

If this content thee not, thou shalt have more.

HODGE

Sell not thy wife, Ralph; make her not a whore.

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HAMMON

Say, wilt thou freely cease thy claim in her,

And let her be my wife?

SHOEMAKERS No, do not, Ralph!

RALPH

Sirrah Hammon, Hammon, dost thou think a shoemaker is so

base to be a bawd to his own wife for commodity? Take thy

gold, choke with it! Were I not lame, I would make thee eat thy

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words.

FIRK

A shoemaker sell his flesh and blood - O indignity!

HODGE

Sirrah, take up your pelf and be packing.

HAMMON

I will not touch one penny. But in lieu

Of that great wrong I offered thy Jane,

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To Jane and thee I give that twenty pound.

Since I have failed of her, during my life

I vow no woman else shall be my wife.

Farewell, good fellows of the Gentle Trade.

Your morning’s mirth my mourning day hath made.

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