MARGERY

Let me see now, Roger and Hans.

HODGE

Ay, forsooth, dame - mistress, I should say, but the old term so

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sticks to the roof of my mouth, I can hardly lick it off.

MARGERY

Even what thou wilt, good Roger. ‘Dame’ is a fair name for any

honest Christian - but let that pass. How dost thou, Hans?

LACY

Mee tanck yow, vro.

MARGERY

Well, Hans and Roger, you see God hath blessed your master;

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and perdie, if ever he comes to be Master Sheriff of London –

as we are all mortal - you shall see I will have some odd thing

or other in a corner for you. I will not be your back friend - but

let that pass. Hans, pray thee, tie my shoe.

LACY

Yaw, ick sal, vro.

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MARGERY

Roger, thou knowest the length of my foot; as it is none of the

biggest, so I thank God it is handsome enough. Prithee, let me

have a pair of shoes made: cork, good Roger - wooden heel too.

HODGE

You shall.

MARGERY

Art thou acquainted with never a farthingale-maker, nor a

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French-hood maker? I must enlarge my bum - ha, ha! How

shall I look in a hood, I wonder? Perdie, oddly, I think.

HODGE

[Aside] As a cat out of a pillory. - Very well, I warrant you,

mistress.

MARGERY

Indeed, all flesh is grass. And Roger, canst thou tell where I may

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buy a good hair?

HODGE

Yes, forsooth, at the poulterer’s in Gracious Street.

MARGERY

Thou art an ungracious wag. Perdie, I mean a false hair for my

periwig.

HODGE

Why, mistress, the next time I cut my beard you shall have the

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shavings of it, but they are all true hairs.

MARGERY

It is very hot: I must get me a fan, or else a mask.

HODGE

[Aside] So you had need, to hide your wicked face.

MARGERY

Fie upon it, how costly this world’s calling is! Perdie, but that it

is one of the wonderful works of God, I would not deal with it.

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Is not Firk come yet? Hans, be not so sad. Let it pass and vanish,

as my husband’s worship says.

LACY

Ick bin vrolicke; lot see yow so.

HODGE

Mistress, will you drink a pipe of tobacco?

MARGERY

O, fie upon it, Roger! Perdie, these filthy tobacco pipes are the

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most idle, slavering baubles that ever I felt. Out upon it, God

bless us - men look not like men that use them.