One of the first things Karina did after starting therapy was track down Justin, in an online community for cult survivors. She was relieved to learn he was alive, that Micah hadn’t lied about his departure too. She and Justin speak frequently now, to make sense of what happened to them at the Sanctuary. Sometimes, Justin says he should have stayed longer once he understood what was really happening; perhaps he could have prevented August’s death or the damage inflicted on others. When Karina tells him he can’t blame himself, she is also reassuring herself. Everyone at the Sanctuary was seeking, just as she was. Everyone was looking for a place to belong. Even Micah, if she’s truthful, wasn’t wholly bad. He did some good things for her, taught her some valuable insights about herself. There was some truth in his beliefs and his vision; that was why he spoke to all of them.

Karina has finally come to realize that the kind of belonging she seeks is already here. She has told her parents every awful thing she’d kept from them for years and, after hearing it all, they have stood by her. They are flawed, all three of them, but they belong to each other.

For Thanksgiving last year, Karina and her parents joined Stephanie Cortez at her family’s home in Redwood City. It was a celebration like none she’d ever seen. The crowd of fifty or more brought dishes of tamales, posole, stuffing, turkey legs—a fusion of two cultures that harmonized perfectly and tasted delicious.

“Mashed potatoes with mole should be a thing,” Karina said, sampling the combination for the first time. “Much better than gravy. I’m definitely doing this next year.”

“What? You’re coming here next year.” Stephanie smiled. “Once you’re on the Cortez guest list, you can’t get off. Besides, I’ve tasted your cooking, remember?”

“I’m much better now,” Karina protested. “I took a class with my dad.” Stephanie raised a skeptical eyebrow, and Karina grinned. She was looking forward to seeing more of Stephanie over the summer, when she was doing a teaching internship across the bay in Oakland. Stephanie didn’t treat her as if she was fragile or damaged; she treated Karina, as she always had, with the assumption that she was strong and smart and would find her way back.

“I fell for him too. I thought he was cool and cute, and charming,” Stephanie told her after learning what had happened. “I was a little jealous, truth. It could easily have been me.”

Karina is not sure this is true, though her therapist has explained that all kinds of people fall prey to the Micahs of the world. “There are more Sanctuaries out there than you can imagine,” she said.

Karina is taking some courses online to make up for the time she’s missed. If all goes well, she will return to the Santa Barbara campus in the fall and graduate one year after she was supposed to. But she has learned not to plan too far out. Mostly Karina has been working with her therapist toward the goal of entering a swimming pool again one day. She imagines what it will feel like to dip her toes in the water and close her eyes. She practices clearing her mind of the old images and summoning new ones into existence.