“The Rebirth doesn’t create weakness,” I said. “That’s what they told us.”

“And you believed them!” she accused.

Her words scattered on my skin like hot coals. I shook them off. “There were studies that proved it. That’s what they told us! An animus rasa, a clean slate!”

“Well, I didn’t want a clean slate! I used to write for hours every day. Now, I’m bartering supplies with someone I hate, just to read a single volume of literature.”

I lowered my head. She was right, and there was no use arguing. “I’m getting up in a few hours to train. If you want to read tonight, we have to start now.”

The corner of her mouth curled bitterly. She handed me the book.

The Omen

THE OMEN

The next day I woke with a feeling of dread. Time was running out. The New Seed vote was nigh. In seven days, Jones expected me back at the Schoolhouse with information about the Director, and I still could not wield the Helix. Afraid, I jumped up and began training.

I redoubled my efforts to remain aloof from the bandits. I ran longer in the morning, ate alone, and filled every spare minute with strength training. To compensate for my inability to wield the Helix, Hosea obliged me with extra combat lessons. Early in the morning the two of us would meet at the clearing and, while I stood on the post, he lectured.

In time, I excelled theoretically. I perfected the physics of aiming my Apex, accurately predicting the arcs and angles, even in heavy wind. I improved greatly, but it was not enough. Without use of the Helix, I was bested in every competition. Even when Pidge twisted his ankle, he challenged me and won the match in seconds.

On the day before Jones expected me back at Cobane, I gave up hope. I admitted to myself that I would never live free in the oasis. Instead of despair, icy numbness settled over me.

I woke early that morning and watched Hosea as he prepared to rise. By now, I knew his morning routine. He would go about bathing before the morning birds awoke. After, he meditated in the forest near the spring. I had adjusted my own schedule to fit his, rising with him and running until we met in the training field.

Bitterness burned my throat. Had he known all along that I would fail? Had he intentionally tempted me with the Helix, knowing I would never master it? Had he done it to distract me from spying for Jones? To be fair, he had warned me that he wasn’t my friend.

“Hosea,” I said, into the darkness.