In one revealing photo of Fritz and Amelia, they were saying goodbye to their guests, toward the end of the party. Amelia was resting her head on Fritz’s shoulder. He was gripping her wrist. She wanted him to protect her. He wanted her to protect him. They both wanted to be saved. Amelia described herself as the organized one who always had to take charge. Fritz felt that she expected too much of him—that she was always slightly disappointed in him, and he was probably right.

I’d seen an unpaid tuition bill for Natalie’s school in their office. Such questions of money could bring stress into a relationship. Enough stress to break a marriage. I knew, not because I had any firsthand experience. I knew because I’d seen it in subtle ways whenever I’d photographed a party. Some parents wouldn’t notice whether I charged five hundred or five thousand for a birthday party.

But there were others, maybe bankers, traders, lawyers, or otherwise, who might have had a couple of lucrative years. Then there was an assumption it would continue like that. And maybe their expectations were set in a certain place. Luxuries crept in. And perhaps, they assumed, because they saw their peers, they assumed it could be done. They were wealthy. And they would stay that way.

The families would hire me one year and then they’d hire me back the following year whether or not they could afford me. And the birthday party they’d have for the child—it would be as lavish as it was the prior year. Maybe it was a matter of pride or positive thinking. If we believe we have the money, we will. So it was in those cases where I could see the tension starting to eat away at the family. And I could see it was right under the surface, just like Amelia and Fritz. And the mom was snapping at the dad because she was angry. Because they’d hired a photographer and a magician, and they had a fancy cake, but the kid was screaming his head off. Tension. And on some level, the mom probably knew that they spent the money and it wasn’t worth it because of what it was doing and would do to their relationship. And she was probably angry at herself. But she felt angry at her husband because, well, in Amelia’s case, she was the wage earner for all intents and purposes. But he was supposed to be. She wasn’t supposed to be worried about money. That was the unspoken arrangement. She’s not supposed to wake up one morning and feel her way of life slipping away from her, out from underneath her. And he feels angry at her. Why is the burden on him? And why is she the one who’s running up the tab? And why, why, why.