Both of Fritz’s lips were pulled back to reveal his gums and teeth. “We need Delta out of here today,” he said.

Amelia moaned—a sound from deep inside her. “The baby.”

I felt my hip bone and the side of my face against the cement. I felt moisture between my legs. And a viselike sensation around my abdomen.

Amelia knelt by my side. “What did I do?”

“Mom, you pushed Delta?” It was Natalie’s voice in the distance.

“No, no, no, no, no.” Amelia grabbed Fritz’s wrist.

“Calm down,” he said.

I was watching both of them, as if in a film—as if I were slightly removed. I noticed the shadows in Amelia’s face, hollow spaces that made her look old.

“This baby is my life,” Amelia said. “My life.”

“I hate you,” Natalie hissed from the top of the stairs.

“Go upstairs, Natalie,” Amelia said. “Now.”

“No.” Natalie didn’t move.

“Delta, let me help you,” Amelia whispered to me.

I felt blood running down my legs. Amelia’s gaze landed on my bare foot, which was covered in blood. It had run all the way down my leg.

“No, no, no, no!” she wailed.

A weight on my chest pressed me to the ground.

Up the stairs, I saw Natalie’s outline, then her gleaming eyes, her lanky arms, her charm necklace with the clay heart and the zigzagged line down the middle. Fritz led her up to their house. I was left alone with Amelia.

She helped me up. My body was pounding. She helped me inside my apartment. “We need to go to the doctor,” she said.

“I think it’ll be OK,” I said.

“No. No. No.” Amelia’s eyes were glazed.

I told her I needed to lie down. She insisted I go to the doctor.

Right now I’m the child’s mother. And I need to talk to my baby.

I’m the child’s mother. Delta Dawn.

And did I hear you say, he was a-meeting you here today,

To take you to his mansion in the sky?

It was my loss. It was my baby.

Amelia drove me to the closest emergency room in downtown Brooklyn. I told her that I would go in by myself. I needed privacy. I’d been asking for privacy when she pushed me down the stairs. This time she didn’t dare to object.

Late that night I was released from the hospital. I called Amelia. “I lost the baby.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Two days later Natalie knocked at the door of my garden apartment and let herself in. I gathered her parents didn’t know where she was.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “About everything.”

I placed a stack of shirts in my suitcase, which was open on my bed. I packed my sweaters, one by one. Then my pants. Dresses. Bras. Underwear.

“It’s OK,” she said. “I understand.”

She seemed composed.