Even if I’d wanted to, there would have been no way to resist her entreaty.

I called Ian’s mother that evening. We had spoken a few times since she’d moved to Florida. She said the recovery from her hip surgery was slow and painful.

“I’m just pathetic, Delta.” Paula laughed. “I still can’t drive, not even to the grocery store.”

“Tell Ian you need him there to help you.” I waited for a response. “Paula?”

She sighed. “OK. OK, fine.”

“If you were to fall and no one was with you, Ian would never forgive himself.”

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

I gathered that a second IVF cycle was going to be a financial strain for the Straubs, but they didn’t hesitate. We scheduled another embryo transfer for mid-July.

The eight weeks passed as if in slow motion, as did the ten-day wait after IVF.

I didn’t talk to the baby this time.

On Day 10, I was pregnant. I belonged to the Straubs. We belonged to one another. If the pregnancy were successful, I saw a joyous future with all of us, Amelia, Fritz, Natalie, and me, raising the child together.

In one single bound, I had catapulted myself into another life, another social stratum. I had power now. I was carrying a baby in my womb, living in the home of artists, in a rarefied neighborhood, and it followed that I had status myself.

I walked to the grocery store nearby, and looked around at the customers and the people who worked there. I practiced looking down on these people and speaking to them with a tone of superiority. I purchased groceries and asked that they be delivered, saying my address loudly and repeating it, so everyone around me could hear where I lived. I walked into a café. The barista did not make my drink correctly. I had the right to complain. My voice mattered. My pregnant body demanded respect.

Some people live their whole life just waiting for the moment when they have the power to scorn others, as opposed to being the object of scorn themselves. Now I could assert my superiority with confidence, knowing that I belonged to a family of means. Fitting in with my clients and their friends had always seemed to be just out of my reach. Now I would seize a place at the table and make sure the rest of the world understood my position.

I was going to partner with Amelia and Fritz as parents. I believed that Amelia was sincere when she talked about my shared participation in the baby’s life, but I also knew it was important to make certain. When the time came, I would clarify what my needs were.