Boris was the only child who derived no pleasure from the performance, or any other aspect of the party. I stayed for three hours, hoping that his frame of mind would shift, but nothing, not even the Avengers cupcakes, could shake him out of his mood. Since the raw material from the party was unusable in its present form, I resigned myself to creating photos out of whole cloth.

I made it a rule not to drink while working, and not unless the hosts specifically offered me a drink. But on my way out, when the hosts were otherwise occupied, I drank half a glass of champagne. My nerves were on fire and I needed it.

As I was waiting for my car, Amelia’s name came up on my phone. I felt a rush of exhilaration until I read the entire text. She explained that they were leaving town for two weeks. It was Natalie’s winter break. She’d forgotten to mention it.

A heaviness settled into my arms and legs.

I spent several minutes composing a response in my mind. I didn’t want to appear too eager, but I needed to hold on to the Straubs. My body craved our connection.

Finally I landed on a solution and wrote: I could look after itzhak and water ur plants. it wouldn’t be trouble. Let me know!

OMG delta ur the best. itzhak is at a doggie hotel, but please water the plants! So amazing if you would.

Her message was an enormous consolation. There was terrific value for me in spending time in their home.

Another text from Amelia: remember I told you about ian walker? he’s a doll. i gave him your number!

I resented Amelia pawning me off on Ian. It was mildly disrespectful. How did she even know whether I was single? After mulling it over, I decided that I’d go out with him anyway. I saw it as an opportunity to garner information on the Straubs.

Back at my apartment, I settled in and turned on my computer. Boris’s party was going to require many hours of editing. Essentially, I would have to create a birthday party that had never happened, in order to showcase a delightful and affectionate child who did not exist. When I needed a break, I turned to the pictures from Natalie’s birthday. In each and every image from her party, I saw opportunities to photoshop—ways for me to spend time with the Straubs. My interactions with them, even if only in photos, were a balm to my spirits.